With some exceptions, college is a nightclub with a $30,000 annual cover charge. Tests and term papers occasionally crash the party, but for the most part undergraduate matriculation is an excuse to engage in outlandish hedonism. Continuing education, however, can be the opposite; since life outside of school tends to be parochial and tedious, the classroom should be a nihilistic passion pit where students cultivate dangerous corners of their subconscious.
To that badass end, the Phoenix rounded up the sexiest and most potentially fatal quarter-to-mid-life-crisis class experiences available this winter (all start in January unless otherwise noted). Freshman year exhilarated back in the day — what with all the keg beer and vomit — but you probably never learned to shoot craps, dance burlesque, and blow your own glass pipes. Until now you've been an amateur party hound with a useless liberal-arts degree. It's time to get serious about your id, instincts, and urges.
Get pissy with it
Few tasks in life are easier than imbibing more than is recommended by the surgeon general. From bums in Central Square to the melanoma posse on Jersey Shore, just about everyone is capable of chugging, stumbling, and puking. That's why it's time to distinguish yourself from those barbarians with some superficial yet delightfully intoxicating beverage accessorizing.
A good place to bring that new rocks glass is the Cambridge Center for Adult Education (CCAE), where spirits consultant Eric Perryman offers "Single Malt Scotch: The Whiskey Islands" ($114). But if you're not ready for the big leagues — Perryman promises bottles that are not otherwise domestically available, and asks participants to "bring at least two glasses and your stunt livers" — then maybe take a test swing in "Scotch Tasting" ($53; $43/members; $18/materials) at the Boston Center for Adult Education (BCAE).
Get dizzy with it
People go back to college for two reasons: to drink scotch, and to kick some ass. And it looks like we're almost all out of scotch. As any campaigning Republican will tell you, the streets are extremely unsafe these days. In addition to the packs of wild immigrants roaming the urban landscape without proper identification, homosexuals are starting families. But while your pacifist ways prevent you from packing steel, there's no reason that you can't learn self-defense (and a little bit of offense).
In April BCAE offers "Brazilian Capoeira" ($136) at its Rock Meadow Conservation campus, where instructors teach "an art form that combines elements of dance, martial arts, music, and acrobatics into a fluid game." The classes are open to all ages and levels, so this could be a good chance to whoop a snotty teenager. If that's not aristocratic or dangerous enough, try "Fencing" ($122) at Brookline Adult & Community Education (BACE).
Get biggie with it
I spoke to your momma the other day, and she wants you to shake what she gave ya. Wild women head straight for "Burlesque: Your Way" ($175) at the Boston Babydolls Burlesque studio in Allston, or to CCAE, where you can learn floor routines and chair moves in "Exotic Dance" ($35). Also, at the BCAE striptease emporium, explore "Burlesque Basics: The Art of Dancing with Props" ($40; $35; $20) or, in March, "Bigger Badder Burlesque" ($40; $35) with Slutcracker star Honey Suckle Duvet.