These two bearded dudes walk into a bar

 Battle of the beards in Somerville
By CARRIE BATTAN  |  February 19, 2010
LIFE021910_beard2_main 
 
PHOTOS:" Get Your Beard On Saturday" slideshow, by Jenell Randall
Ever wonder what the world would be like if growing facial hair were a professional sport? Yeah, me neither. But someone in Somerville did at one point in time and got really excited about it, and Saturday's masculinity-wagging "Get Your Beard On" contest was born.

The boisterous afternoon competition filled the back room of Union Square's Precinct Bar with an endless and startlingly diverse horde of beard fanatics. A handful of Somerville's bearded Sikh community competed for the "Best Natural Full Beard" crown and post-pubescent men of all shapes and sizes brandished their manicured mugs to see who sported the best "Free-Style Full Beard" and "Free-Style Mustache." Cue stream of jokes about "hairline fractures"  and "how-long-you-been-growing-that-thing-and-do-you-use-wax" commentary from emcee Jimmy DelPonte, amid envious spectators' coos of "That's SO long for only two months."
 
And in an effort to get everyone in on the furry lovefest (ewwww), a "Best Fake Beard" category was created for beard-impaired men and gender-bending women. Fun for the whole family! But the most promising sign for the future of beard crown conquests was a clutch of young boys cheering on contestants, gazing into their metaphorical crystal balls to gauge what beard-growing adventures await them somewhere down the line -- clearly being groomed for Get Your Beard On '20.
 
If you missed GYBO and you're itching to get in on some other hirsute scrum, you won't have to wait long. 826 Boston's annual Moustache-A-Thon fundraiser kicked off this Monday, with the first official weigh-in slated for February 24 at the Other Side Cafe. Grow forth and conquer, people.
  Topics: Lifestyle Features , Entertainment, Culture and Lifestyle, Sports,  More more >
| More


Most Popular
ARTICLES BY CARRIE BATTAN
Share this entry with Delicious
  •   MAIN ATTRAKIONZ | 808S AND DARK GRAPES II  |  September 07, 2011
    Following a steady stream of low-budget tracks, mixtapes, and videos posted on their Tumblr this year, the Bay-area stoner rap duo of Squadda B and MondreM.A.N. (a/k/a Main Attrakionz) have raised the stakes by offering up something that resembles a traditional release.
  •   LIL B | I'M GAY (I'M HAPPY)  |  July 19, 2011
    Gone are the endless declarations of hoes on his dick in groups of 30 and 100; gone are the claims that he is everyone from Ellen Degeneres to Miley Cyrus.
  •   SHABAZZ PALACES | BLACK UP  |  June 09, 2011
    The musical reincarnation of Ishmael Butler, the elusive Seattle rapper who makes up one-third of the semi-popular '90s jazz-rap act Digable Planets under the name Butterfly, is a lot to unpack.
  •   FRIENDLY FIRES | PALA  |  June 07, 2011
    For a densely layered, expertly produced dance-rock album, this second full-length from British three-piece Friendly Fires is perplexingly bland.
  •   THE WEEKND | HOUSE OF BALLOONS  |  April 27, 2011
    Self-release (2011)

 See all articles by: CARRIE BATTAN