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Drillbit Taylor

Leftovers from the '80s
By BRETT MICHEL  |  March 19, 2008
1.5 1.5 Stars
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SUPER-DULL: Owen Wilson and his hormonal co-stars.

Early on in this Owen Wilson vehicle, someone says, “I got an old saying for you: you can’t polish a turd.” Indeed. Every excremental element in director Steven (Little Nicky, Mr. Deeds) Brill’s latest (shot in 2006) is well past its shelf life. Even the premise is decrepit, lifted from 1980’s My Bodyguard — something that’s acknowledged but nevertheless tarnished in a throwaway gag. In fact, the entire film feels like leftovers from the ’80s, so it comes as no surprise that John Hughes, the Brat Pack architect himself, had a hand in the screenplay. This being a Judd Apatow production (what comedy isn’t these days?), Seth Rogen is also credited as a writer; that may explain why the trio of junior-high heroes who hire Wilson’s title homeless Army deserter to fend off an “emancipated minor” come off as embryonic versions of Superbad’s Seth, Evan, and Fogell. Who would’ve guessed the hormonal vulgarians could be so super-dull? 102 minutes | Boston Common + Fenway + Fresh Pond + Circle + suburbs
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