The Big Hurt: The M.I.A. kertruffle

Plus Gallagher goes begging, Bieber gets erased, Abdul loses time
By DAVID THORPE  |  June 10, 2010

In an interview with Nylon magazine, M.I.A. offered a shocking revelation about the Web sites we use every day: "Google and Facebook were developed by the CIA, and when you're on there, you have to know that." Let's assume her statement is correct, since she's a celebrity and thus has access to more-reliable information than we do. The implications are incredibly disturbing — even now, the CIA could be monitoring private conversations in Gmail, or using Facebook to look up all the Latin American dictators its agents went to high school with and see which ones got fat.

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In other M.I.A. news: she's been spatting with New York Times writer Lynn Hirschberg over a lengthy article that politely accused the singer/rapper of harboring naive political opinions, manufacturing cheap controversy, ordering truffle-flavored fries, being a non-musician, and leaning heavily on the talent of collaborators. M.I.A. hit back by posting Hirschberg's phone number on Twitter, claiming that it was her own, and urging fans to "CALL ME IF YOU WANNA TALK TO ME ABOUT THE N Y T TRUTH ISSUE, ill b taking calls all day bitches." She also posted unedited interview recordings that totally shed new light on all of Hirschberg's claims. Well, not all of them. Pretty much just the truffle-fries one.

By the way: Hirschberg also opined that the "Born Free" video was "exploitative and hollow." This marks the first time a reputable publication has agreed with me. Thank you, New York Times!

LIAM GALLAGHER told the New York Times that he's looking for the hippest people to wear his Pretty Green fashion label, which debuted in the States a couple of months ago. "I don't want just anybody wearing it. And people go, 'Oh, beggars can't be choosers.' Well, I ain't a beggar, you know what I mean?" Just to spite him, I'm gonna spend $500 on one of his stupid windbreakers and then walk around town looking all fat and shitty in it. That'll show him.

By the way, his post-Oasis band now have a name: Beady Eye. As unappealing and faintly penile as the man himself, I reckon.

Headline of the week, courtesy of nme.com: "BIG PINK member gets naked for Richard Kern photo shoot." I thought Richard Kern shot only girls, but I guess he disrobes the occasional big, pink member, too.

Some maniac created a browser plug-in called "Shaved Bieber" that removes the words "JUSTIN BIEBER" from any Web page you visit, as well as blanking out images of his soft, windswept hair. No surprise, the rogue programmer has been receiving death threats and hate mail, examples of which he's posted on his blog. "What you're doing is going back to World War II all over again," writes Alex, a young Swiss fan. "Hitler wanting to erase Jews from society — you want to erase Justin Drew Bieber." Few things in this world warrant Holocaust comparisons, but this is surely one of them.

Elsewhere, a YouTube video that leaked this week shows Bieber accidentally walking head first into a glass door. Careful, buddy — that's how birds die! But before you laugh at him, track down the video. Search YouTube for "Bieber glass door" or something. Watch it a few times and then tell me whether that thing isn't the most confusing door you've ever seen. I've watched the video a dozen times, and I still can't figure this crazy door out. I think it's goddamned four-dimensional or something. I'm surprised the kid isn't dead.

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