The Big Hurt: Tiffany and Debbie Gibson's snakes 'n' gators

Plus El DeBarge's year, Chris Brown's tears, and Justin Bieber's heart
By DAVID THORPE  |  July 7, 2010

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"2010 could end up being the year of EL DEBARGE," says mtv.com. Wait! I know I make shit up all the time, but they actually said that. A writer for the MTV news organization — no byline, I'm afraid — saw fit to publish the words "2010 could end up being the year of El DeBarge" in what purports to be a piece of factual journalism. Not that I don't love El DeBarge, and not that we weren't all impressed by his performance on the BET Awards, but come on. El's got a lot of catching up to do if he wants to hit "year of" status — he has only six months left in which to overshadow Justin Bieber, the iPad, the Haiti earthquake, and the BP oil spill. Well, maybe he can match that last one if he gets his hair back to 1985 "Rhythm of the Night"–video levels.

Speaking of the BET Awards: the biggest news — bigger even than the year-defining appearance of legendary R&B year owner El DeBarge — was CHRIS BROWN's Michael Jackson tribute, during which Chris suddenly reduced himself to tears. Y'see, when he tried to sing the devastatingly soul-searching lyric to "Man in the Mirror," he overcame himself with emotion and was unable to continue owing to his overwhelming sorryness. Long story short, we've all forgiven him, because we've conflated our feelings of Michael Jackson forgiveness into Chris Brown forgiveness.

"To see his performance, it was very emotional for me," Jermaine Jackson told Extra, "because it was an acceptance from his fans from what has happened to him." What was it that happened to him, again? I keep forgetting, now that I've forgiven him. Didn't some crazy lady repeatedly plow her face into his fist?

Or maybe the whole thing was totally sincere and I'm just being an asshole, right? Yeah, probably. Even Perez Hilton is in Brown's corner now, and Perez Hilton definitely isn't the World's Biggest Idiot.

Rapper RICK ROSS is being sued for $10 million by the real Ricky Ross, a coke kingpin who's been released after serving 14 years of what once was a life sentence. Ross the rapper has been swatting down accusations of phoniness ever since it was revealed that he used to be a corrections officer, but to be sued by his namesake could be an even bigger blow to his credibility. It may not seem like that big a deal, but keep in mind that this is basically the plot to the legendary 1993 film CB4 — and no rapper in the world wants to invite Gusto comparisons.

BIEBERWATCH! The swooshy-haired dreamboat kicked off his "My World 2.0" tour late last month, and fan reaction has been unanimously positive. "I thought it was really cool when he came out in the heart," one fan told MTV News, probably referring to some kind of stage prop or self-reflective admission.

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