Live Review: Off the rails on a lazy train

Putting the "zzzzzzzzz" into Ozzfest
By BARRY THOMPSON  |  September 1, 2010


"Vampires are bullshit. I'm the Prince of fucking Darkness," Ozzy Osbourne informed Kristen Stewart during a pop-culture-parody-montage video that segued into a kick-ass eruption of time-honored crowd pleasers. But if Ozzy Osbourne truly is the Fallen One made flesh, he should've used his wicked omnipotence to stop the deluge that made Ozzfest at the Comcast Center a week ago Tuesday a very soggy place. Perhaps the absence of blood sacrifices and sex rituals displeased him?

PHOTOS:Ozzfest 2010, by Derek Kouyoumjian 
The main draws for Ozzfest 2010's six-date-long US tour — Ozzy, Mötley Crüe, and Rob Halford — ceased to be controversial or dangerous some time ago, and the audience reflected the band's temperance. Expectations raised by bygone Ozzfests went by the boards — this reporter witnessed no felonies, not even an energy-drink overdose. Instead, I saw a pair of pudgy suburban kids reuniting an elderly fellow with a wad of cash that had tumbled out of his pocket. Well played, gentlemen.

My ride couldn't get us to Mansfield till after the second stage's scheduled conclusion, and I was sad to miss somewhat-awesome thrash acts Goatwhore and Skeletonwitch. On the plus side, that meant I'd also missed Drowning Pool . . . or so I thought. Since the rain had put the kabosh on sets by that band and Black Label Society, Nonpoint invited their old pals Drowning Pool up to the main stage to play a couple of numbers. I don't understand why God hates me so much.

Can't knock Mötley Crüe, but isn't it odd how Nikki Sixx could pass for a Gypsy bag lady while 47-year-old Tommy Lee looks pretty much the same as he did in 1989? The drummer lamented the evening's dearth of visible boobies, whereupon 14 women lifted their shirts out of pity for Lee, the galaxy's only virgin rock star. Don't worry, Tommy. Someday, you'll meet the right girl.

Related: The Big Hurt: Faces refaced, Trans Am | What Day Is It Tonight? Trans Am Live, 1993 - 2008, Various Artists | Panama! 3, More more >
  Topics: Live Reviews , Entertainment, Music, Ozzy Osbourne,  More more >
| More

Most Popular
Share this entry with Delicious
    Whereas the monsters and ghosts of NIN songs can scream in your face and rip you to bits with their fangs, Welcome Oblivion tracks like techno-folk haunter "Ice Age" and the doom-pop jaunt "How Long?" make uncredited cameo appearances in your nightmares until you go insane and eat your own hands.
  •   JOHNNY MARR | THE MESSENGER  |  February 25, 2013
    Going solo is rarely a good decision. For every exception to the rule of who flourishes after unburdening themselves of the half-talents that have been holding them back — Justin Timberlake, for one — there are dozens of embarrassing Dee Dee Ramone rap albums that exist because Joey and Johnny Ramone weren't around to kibosh a terrible idea.
  •   WHAT'S F'N NEXT? BUKE AND GASE  |  January 29, 2013
    Almost every person I've told about Buke and Gase assumes that they'll hate this band, which isn't their fault.
  •   BLEEDING RAINBOW | YEAH RIGHT  |  January 23, 2013
    The only defect of the sort-of-but-not-really debut from Bleeding Rainbow (no longer called Reading Rainbow, possibly due to litigious ire festering under LeVar Burton's genial television persona) is that the Philly foursome merely hop off the launching point forged by Sonic Youth, My Bloody Valentine, and a handful of others from the oft-exalted grunge era.
    We hear you just moved to "the Bean", and you're thinking about starting a real life rock-'n-roll band! Here's a bunch of bullshit you should know about.

 See all articles by: BARRY THOMPSON