THE BOOK IS PARTIALLY ABOUT YOUR DIAGNOSIS AS BIPOLAR. ARE YOU STILL STRUGGLING WITH YOUR CONDITION? I struggled terribly. On medication and off for 25 years. Recently an acupuncturist friend cornered me in Chicago and said, "I'm not going to watch you do this anymore, when I can help." Acupuncture for me was almost violent. It felt like race cars driving my outline. I thought I was having a heart attack. Eventually this phantom body syndrome impression I had, where I would close my eyes and know that I was next to me and in a different position, it gradually moved into my outline. I honestly don't struggle with bipolar disorder anymore. It's like I lost 1000 pounds. It's crazy — I didn't see that coming at all. I was just someone who struggles, someone who tries to keep secrets.
DID WRITING THE BOOK CLARIFY YOUR WORK TO YOU? It clarified for me how much cooler you are before you see any success. How your ideas are ideals. How unselfconscious you're allowed to be when no one is listening. That's really the ultimate goal; we had it and we lost it. The book is essentially triumphant. But what happened next, I don't see how I could write the next book. Because we broke all of our own rules. We became a different kind of mess. We were ugly for a long time. I love the idea of encapsulation of this time when your energy determines your action. And it's coming back now. I don't think I would have been able to write it before, it would have been too painful. But I was able to write it now because this time is also triumphant.
: Music Features
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