Amid all this carnage, the week's most troubling news: our legal system has failed to imprison the doofus from PUDDLE OF MUDD. He struck a plea deal on drug charges, thus weaseling out of prison time. Yes, I know that prison time is an idiotic consequence for minor drug offenses, but this is the fucking guy from Puddle of Mudd, and no miscarriage of justice is too severe if it means keeping him off our streets and stages.

It should be a time of triumph for BLUR, whose comeback singles are racking up accolades, but it's all rage and despair for bassist ALEX JAMES: six of his controversial avant-garde cheeses are being withdrawn from grocery store shelves! "Clearly some of them were ahead of their time," an Asda supermarket chain spokesperson told the Daily Star. Among the doomed flavored cheddar varieties are salad cream, tikka masala, and ketchup, all of which sound phenomenally grody.

David Thorpe | dthorpe@phx.com

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