The Phoenix Network:
 
 
About  |  Advertise
 
Big Hurt  |  CD Reviews  |  Classical  |  Jazz  |  Live Reviews  |  Music Features
Best2012Vote-1000x50

The down low

A legacy of musical runts
By DANIEL BROCKMAN  |  April 30, 2009

090501_dio_main
Ronnie James Dio

Get shorty: Lady Sovereign hits new heights. By Daniel Brockman.
Lady Sovereign's first EP was named Vertically Challenged, she named her imprint Midget Records, and she's repeatedly proclaimed herself "officially the biggest midget in the game." At a towering 5'1", the S-O-V joins a long line of famous popular musicians who would probably have a hard time getting on a roller-coaster. Below are five of the more renowned Napoleonic frontpersons in recent history (in descending order, from tallest to shortest):

UDO DIRKSCHNEIDER OF ACCEPT (5'5") | This feisty German fireplug had, in his prime, the powder-keg lunacy of a man at least 5'8". Best known for the guttural adenoid bursts of the not-at-all-homo-erotic '84 hit "Balls to the Wall."

GLENN ANZALONE a/k/a GLEN DANZIG (5'4") | From his fronting the Misfits and Samhain to his solo work, the pissed-off Joisey lunkhead with the basso profundo that launched a thousand "whoa"s is living proof that you can make up in attitude what you lack in stature.

RONALD JAMES PADAVONA a/k/a RONNIE JAMES DIO (5'4") | Just as Napoleon Bonaparte (5'6") was able to crown himself emperor in an age when there weren't even phone books to sit on, so did Dio elevate himself onto the highest pedestal in metal history with not much more than a stunning voice, a wicked cackle, and a limitless ability to come up with ways to call women evil.

KYLIE MINOGUE (5'0") | Kylie proves once and for all that being a diva ain't about being tall. When the whole world is on a first-name basis with you and your hotness, you probably have a coterie of servants to get that bag of crisps off the top shelf for you.

RICHARD SHAW a/k/a BUSHWICK BILL OF GETO BOYS (3'8") | Bill and the Boys were easily the most aggressively vicious of the late-'80s gangster-rap crews, and some might speculate that Bill's nasty streak was his way of compensating for his stubbiness. Nevertheless, the venomous flow on cuts like "Mind Playing Tricks on Me" truly belies his size.

Related: Interview: Glenn Danzig, Kylie Minogue | Aphrodite, Interview: Melissa Auf der Maur, More more >
  Topics: Music Features , Celebrity News, Entertainment, Music Stars,  More more >
| More

 Friends' Activity   Popular   Most Viewed 
[ 02/13 ]   "Aphrodite and the Gods of Love"  @ Museum of Fine Arts
[ 02/13 ]   "Processes and Dreams"  @ Panopticon Gallery
[ 02/13 ]   "Artists' Books: Books by Artists"  @ Boston Athenæum
ARTICLES BY DANIEL BROCKMAN
Share this entry with Delicious
  •   [IN MEMORIAM] WHITNEY HOUSTON, 1963-2012  |  February 13, 2012
    Whitney Houston, who passed away this weekend of still-to-be-determined causes at the too-young age of 48, made an art out of depicting heroic triumph over adversity in her music
  •   A PUNK PHENOMENON GROWS UP  |  February 08, 2012
    It's time we faced it: the vanguards of rock have gotten really old.
  •   THURSTON MOORE MOVES ON  |  January 25, 2012
    When Thurston Moore takes the stage at Somerville Theatre on Tuesday, he will no doubt stroll through the wispy cloud-spires of last summer's Beck-produced solo effort, Demolished Thoughts (Matador).  
  •   SPREADING BLASPHEMOUS RUMORS WITH GHOST  |  January 17, 2012
    Can rock still be subversive?
  •   CLOSING THE BOOK ON THE WEST MEMPHIS THREE  |  January 05, 2012
    The Paradise Lost story began in 1993 with the discovery of the bodies of three West Memphis, Arkansas, children in a watery ditch, hogtied and mutilated. A confession led police to the arrest of three teenagers: Damon Echols, Jason Baldwin, and Jessie Misskelley.

 See all articles by: DANIEL BROCKMAN

MOST POPULAR
RSS Feed of for the most popular articles
 Most Viewed   Most Emailed