Coolzey | The Honey

Public School Records (2010)
By CHRIS FARAONE  |  January 14, 2010
3.0 3.0 Stars


Coolzey is not the next big thing. Or even the next medium thing. He's just a clever white weedhead from Iowa who believes he has the right to stick his hick dick up in the hip-hop orgy. Considering his latest, I see no reason why he should abstain.

The Honey begins almost brilliantly, with the retarded, tuba-pumped memoir cut "Little by Little" and the title track featuring nerdcore icon Schäffer the Darklord. From there it teeters between (mostly) hot potatoes like the accordion-stretched "Ride" and (a few) bum tomatoes like the surf-rock misfire "Look."

Coolzey fills a non-niche: he packs more skills and intellect than most geek and hipster rappers, but he's too nasally Caucasian to convince alongside the likes of Copywrite ("Retina Scan") and Sadat X ("Tour Song Too").  Unless he wants to follow up his outstanding acoustic encore "Old Machine" with some singer-songwriter shit, he should stay in the dweeb corner of the hip-hop lunch room, where he can easily dominate.

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