Springtime for Militia

By CHRIS FARAONE  |  April 21, 2010

Though the only racial minorities present are a few Latino Jesus salesmen with giant cardboard crucifixes, following some patriotic musical offerings, Second Amendment March organizers bolster their diversity by inviting up Nicki Stallard, a Hulk Hogan of a transsexual and founder of her local Pink Pistols gay gun-owners group in Northern California. As men and women holler such epithets as “Shut the fuck up, you disgusting faggot,” Stallard panders: “This is not a hate fest like they said it would be. What I see out there is a love fest.”

In an afternoon of stacked ironies, Stallard’s performance is the most telling. The vast majority of attendees is unimpressed; even such reliable crowd-pleasing lines as “America is the greatest nation because it was founded by God,” fall on repulsed ears. Groups of veterans stand up and walk away; one mother covers her young daughter’s eyes and ears.

“The gay community should be the most heavily armed in the country,” notes Stallard, “and so should Jews and African-Americans: armed gays don’t get bashed.”

“That might be true,” counters an especially disturbed onlooker for his friends to hear. “But if we had our guns with us here today, then I know at least one gay who would probably get shot right between the legs.”

Chris Faraone can be reached at cfaraone@phx.com.

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