Rejoice! Race to the bottom soon over

The scramble for the undecided vote; quotes of note; the Life of Keith
By PHILLIPE AND JORGE  |  October 27, 2010

There are only a few more days left in this particularly ridiculous election cycle and, if there is one group of people who worked tirelessly and with true creative elan it would be the opposition research teams. Give these folks a bonus! That much of their handiwork is utter bullshit is undoubtedly true but, still, they worked overtime on this one.

Who knows what might crop up by the time you're reading this. Anything is possible since, in the last days of any campaign, scrambling for the undecided vote is always a race to the bottom.

"Yo Frankie" Caprio's dissing of President Obama ("he can take his endorsement and really shove it"), outside of giving John "the Journalist" DePetro thrilling tumescence that is only now receding ("look! It's me on Matt Drudge! I'm now a reactionary God!), has been the big story this week. Of course, Caprio uttered his phony macho posturing remark on "Johnny's Weasel Hour" (isn't that the name of DePetro's show?). It was truly the most desperate moment of the campaign to date and the latest in a series of stunningly idiotic calculations in the Caprio campaign. Frankie doesn't seem to be angling for "liberal" or "conservative" votes but honing in on the angry moron white votes. In other words, protecting his Robitaille flank.

Understand that this was no impulsive "outburst." It was so well planned that he had talking points ("shove it," Obama trying to turn Rhode Island into an "ATM machine") that he dutifully repeated it later — the same way he has dutifully repeated all of his talking points throughout the campaign. How insulting the President translates into "standing up for Rhode Islanders" is still a mystery here at Casa Diablo.

None of the other candidates has produced a commercial as filled with fantasy as the one where Frankie, taking a minute from his kitchen table where he's been dealing with the household bills and considering your "idears" for the past four months, tells an anecdote about his first day in office after being elected General Treasurer. The always nefarious "they" enter, stage left, and hand Frankie keys to his state car and a gas card. Frankie informs the nefarious "they" — who we're guessing are his fellow Democratic Party operatives and friends — that he didn't get elected to have his car and gasoline paid for by hard-working taxpayers of Vo Dilun.

This is incredibly hilarious. Does anyone out there believe that an elected official would retort to his political soulmates that he was too righteous a man of the principle to indulge in the standard perks of office. "They" would undoubtedly have doubled over in laughter. It's not that we doubt that Frankie might have turned down the state car and gas card it's just that a) there's no way that little speech he relates ever happened and, b) if he did turn down the perks we have little doubt it was because he was already planning ahead for his 2010 campaign for governor and thinking "hey, this'll look good."

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