Had Haskell uncovered a secret Beaver-cult in Brussel, which left him wondering why the residuals were not flowing? P+J don't really know and we seriously doubt that we will financially benefit from Haskell's brave actions. According to insiders in the industry, however, there are a lot of dead performers who got screwed out of royalties for years: among them Frank Sinatra, Roy Rogers, Richard Burton, Jayne Mansfield, Alan Ladd, and former SAG president Charlton Heston. (You would have thought that Heston might have figured this out but, perhaps when his residual check was being hand-delivered, he shot it out of the hands of the delivery person in a display of his sidearm prowess.)

Phillipe was wondering if Haskell was represented by Clarence Rutherford as counsel, but we have seen no evidence that the Lumpmeister is an active part of the suit. We'll bet that there will be a nice little check with the name "Frank Bank" on it when this whole thing winds down, though.


RIGHT PLACE, WRONG TIME

A sad adieu to former Brown football coach Len Jardine, who recently passed away in Chicago. Len was a former star at Purdue and was assistant coach there when Bruno Uno decided to bring some Big Ten-style muscle to College Hill. Perhaps not a great idea in the late 1960s, when the hair grew long and campus revolts were sprouting. Len's intimidating approach didn't fly too well at Brown, and his cussing fits on the practice field were the stuff of legend. But he was a good man and his players liked him, rants notwithstanding. The only problem: the "Jardine Machine" only managed five wins in the entire four years P. was attending Brown. Thanks for the memories, Len.

Send lawn bags and Pulitzer-grade tips to p&j@phx.com.

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