Odd meter

By AL DIAMON  |  March 16, 2011

Equipped with fewer facts and more absurd claims than the average infomercial, the Meteroids have taken their case public and met with surprising success in generating news stories that make them appear normal. That's due to two important factors:

These people don't act like kooks. Aside from their obsession with Smart Meters, they behave appropriately. They have jobs. They have families that aren't ashamed to be seen with them in public. They speak in complete sentences without spraying spittle.

Even more important than their appearance is their opponent. Nobody likes the electric company. It's a faceless corporate entity that's annoyed just about everyone with its haughtiness and indifference, folksy TV spots notwithstanding. CMP is impossible to sympathize with, so if somebody says something bad about it, we're inclined to hope it's true.

That gives anyone opposed to the Smart Meter policy a significant edge with the news media, who love underdogs. Even Governor Paul LePage, an avowed supporter of "real science," has said the Anti-Meter Maids and Men should be allowed to opt out of the new system. And we all know how hard it is to get on LePage's good side. I mean, this is the guy who hates whales and newspapers.

So, that's this week's advice to freaks: Choose an opponent who has a lousy public image (if you can't get CMP, try Bernie Madoff, Moammar Gadhafi, or Ben Roethlisberger). Dress neatly. Speak calmly and concisely.

And keep those hirsute paws ("Daddy, is that a werewolf?") hidden behind your back.

Give me a hand — I mean the applause kind — by e-mailing aldiamon@herniahill.net.

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