Oh, c'mon, you can't bullshit the bullshitters.
HOMEY Pauly D.
Yes, we speak of you, dear readers. P&J know that no matter what you've said about Jersey Shore — despite your claims that you have never watched that brain- and soul-draining tripe — there isn't a chance in hell you won't be glued to the tube on Thursday night at 10:30 to watch the most anticipated show of the season, at least in these parts, or anywhere else the average IQ of the population is in single digits. I write, of course, of Jersey Shore spin-off The Pauly D Project, featuring Johnston's own Paul DelVecchio.
With Snooki pregnant with a baby every obstetrician in the world is waiting with bated breath to behold, and The Situation in rehab for name-it-and-claim-it, it is left to Pauly D to carry the Jersey Shore guido banner.
To his credit, Pauly has managed to be the upstanding member — the brains, even — of that oil-oozing, Jagermeister-swilling crew. But with the bar so low for that honor it makes the limbo look like a high jump competition, we don't know if that qualifies as a compliment.
Let's face it, what more could you ask for? Flattering shots of the Biggest Little, mixed in with Pauly and his posse of mooks taking on Las Vegas, where he'll have to ante up on his normal bling-bling and double down on the personal destruction to even draw a sideways glance? How can you not love it already, sight unseen?
We would give Pauly D a rub on the head for good luck as he launches his new "project," but the prospect of having our hands forever stuck to whatever combination of STP, Krazy Glue, and last night's gravy he uses on his nouveau "Eraserhead" coif may leave P&J to offer an encouraging "break a leg" instead.
Then again, that could be misinterpreted by his pumped-up entourage, so let's just say "good luck to you, homey." Given his normally courteous deportment amidst the contrived Jersey Shore mayhem, it really couldn't happen to a nicer guy, and we have faith in Pauly D that he will do his Vo Dilun roots proud.
Over-under action on how many weeks it takes the Bud-I to horn in on the action with some sort of a cameo is three.
DAYS OF MIRACLE AND WONDER
Phillipe and Jorge are always astounded by the pace of technological advance in our time. To wit: the recent surgery on the loathsome Dick "The Rifleman" Cheney, wherein doctors were able to replace the heart of a pig with a human one.
On Saturday, P&J attended a show at the German-American Cultural Society in Pawtucket (popularly know as the German Club) called "Sex Bombe: A Burlesk tribute to Marlene Dietrich."
There was a traditional German meal served in the building's Ratskeller followed by the show upstairs in the main hall, featuring a fabulous troupe of burlesque performers (including the great Bettysioux Tailor, who frequently graces the stage at AS220's Empire Revue), the mentalist Rory Raven, and musical numbers associated with Dietrich performed by the magnificent Miss Wensday.