S.O.S. in the Biggest Little

The possible private takeover of Harrah’s is more bad news
By PHILLIPE & JORGE  |  October 4, 2006

What a joyful time in the Ocean State. As we head into crucial elections, what hits us between the eyes? Fond recollections of why we have such an elegant national reputation.

As many people have their head in their hands, thinking about what a joke we’ll become should we agree to work with Harrah’s Entertainment — the huge gambling outfit from Lost Wages — we find that it may well be sold.

If this equity firm buyout goes down, Harrah’s will become a private business not subject to government regs or Wall Street financial disclosures. Great. Why not change the ballot wording, replacing “the Narragansett Indians and their chosen partner” with “the Narragansett Indians and a blind pig operation.”

Better yet, should this travesty be approved, perhaps Harrah’s could be bought out by a firm in Saudi Arabia, the origin of Osama bin Laden and our amateur 9/11 airline pilots. The door would be open, folks, with all this in the hands of our highly respected, high-minded Narragansetts and their General Assembly friends, with only the bottom line in their eyes. (Take a final bow, Phil West, outgoing director of Common Cause, as P&J lead the applause. You picked the right time to say goodbye. Little Rhody — moving forward to the bad old days.)

The Save Our State (Save Our Slots?) coalition is fighting the good fight, but all good men and women are going to have to stand up on Election Day, considering the big bucks of Harrah’s and its battle-hardened, well-oiled, get-out-the-vote operation, which will be blended with Vo Dilun’s resident Moron Majority. Watch out, or the work of our Founding Fathers will be turned into a reality game show.

Meanwhile, we are so sad to see second-rate bureaucrats like former Roger Williams Medical Center CEO Robert Urciuoli and his co-defendants squirming as former state senator John Celona put the boot in about their alleged “barters” with him. Speaking of footwear, P&J are waiting for the other shoe — involving the senator’s relations with CVS — to drop.

Celona’s testimony should be FedEx-ed to every scriptwriter involved with the current shows about Providence and its politics, because it is a bible of how deals are done hereabouts. Hey, not for nuthin’, Vinny, but youse couldn’t make this shit up.

Good luck, Mr. Urciuoli and friends. We have a distinct feeling you are going to need it.

Acceptance denied
A tip of the beret and sombrero to reporter Bob Woodward, for his new book, State of Denial, about how Dubya the Dumb’s administration has completely botched the war against terror, as well as the Iraq invasion, costing nearly 3000 American lives in the process.

The jig is essentially up for the fake flyboy who, as everyone knows, went missing during his National Guard stint years ago, and now tries to be a tough guy while riding his bike around his ranch. Woodward, recovering from an earlier butt-kissing tome about Boy George’s dysfunctional DC tribe, has had his beads read in public — along with those of fellow incompetents “Big Time” Cheney, “Rummy” Rumsfeld and Condi “Queen Lotsateetha” Rice. Our arrogant drugstore cowboy has his head so far up his ass that he needs a window in his stomach. Denial indeed.

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Related: Rhode Island in ’06: same as it ever was, Is Rhode Island still a state for sale?, Money counts, More more >
  Topics: Phillipe And Jorge , Entertainment, Media, Osama bin Laden,  More more >
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