The Blowhard Bulletin

 Sundlun’s desire to restore local ownership is on the money
By PHILLIPE & JORGE  |  December 13, 2006

Last week’s Phoenix carried an intriguing article, by ace news editor Ian Donnis, about how Bruce “Captain Blowhard” Sundlun, our esteemed former governor and all-around giant raving character, was looking to have a local group of investors buy the Providence Urinal.

As much as P&J like the idea of personally replacing our old buddy Bob Whitcomb as editorial page editors in a Blowhard regime, it appears to not be in the offing. Empty suit Bob Decherd, head ramrod of the Belo Corporation, the Dallas-based outfit that owns the Other Paper, dismissed the Captain’s offer with what Sundlun called a “curt” response. (You know that probably went a mile up Bruce’s ass, given that he is the King of Curt).

Using the Philadelphia Inquirer as a case in point, Donnis went into detail about local ownership not being the be-all, end-all solution to carpetbaggers like Decherd and Belo riding into town and screwing over those at the Fountain Street fortress. P&J, however, believe the local ownership idea has merit. While the raving righties at Clear Channel clear out people with institutional knowledge at WHJJ, we would love to see someone (the Bud-I?) ensure that the BeloJo still has its money where our mouths are here in the Biggest Little.
Sleep tight, Michael Metcalf.

Are reindeer right-wingers?
When you talk about white boys polishing their rockets while looking at the author’s photo on an Ann Coulter book, you doubtless refer to the members of the University of Rhode Island College Republicans.

On December 11, the Tom DeLay wannabes held a gathering in which URI students could send Christmas cards to the New York headquarters of the American Civil Liberty Union. This was an “opportunity to write Christian themed Christmas cards to the ACLU, wishing them a very Merry Christmas,” the young GOPsters said in a statement, and was done to “[remind] the leftist organization of the true meaning of Christmas.” The event was free, and with cookies and hot cocoa, but no mention of cross-burnings, patient diagnoses via videotape by Bill Frist, or White House interns squired by Mark Foley, along with six packs of Dixie beer.

The URI Republicans believe the ACLU “has attacked Christmas on the local level in the last several years, claiming the city of Cranston, R.I., erected holiday religious displays along with secular displays in violation of the so-called ‘separation of church and state.’ ” P&J aren’t quite sure how you “attack” a holiday, but if you are talking a nativity scene, Joe, Mary and the baby J. are holed up safe in a barn.

But God and Dubya — who regularly converse over brunch (as we were informed by Boy George) — were no doubt proud.

Chile con carne
So sad to read that murdering and torturing US-supported Chilean ex-dictator Augusto Pinochet died before truly being brought to task for his vast misdeeds.

With at least tacit CIA support, General Pinochet, then head of the Chilean Army, staged the coup on September 11, 1973 — the Chileans got a leg up on Osama with that one — to halt the Marxist leanings of President Salvador Allende.

Of course, we didn’t reckon on Pinochet being a ruthless despot who killed and brutalized thousands of his countrymen after taking power. P&J especially liked the official explanation, that Allende committed suicide in the presidential palace during the coup, shooting himself 12 times in the back, from 20 feet away.

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