Political pedophilia

The legislative budget takes it out on the kids
By PHILLLIPE AND JORGE  |  June 20, 2007

Let’s screw kids! That seems to be the takeaway message of this year’s state budget, in which the legislature and the governor combined to tell Rhode Island’s youth that they don’t matter.
 
Not only were an estimated 2400 children thrown off state subsidized child-care, education financing was frozen at the same levels as the previous year. Books? They’re a luxury. Let ’em use flash cards. One set per classroom. Just look how well they worked when Barbara “Beautiful Mind” Bush used them to help tutor Dubya the Chimp Boy when he was a nipper. That ought to prepare our ’utes for the modern workplace.
 
Why did this have to happen, beyond our august pols recognizing that kids can’t vote? It is due to sheer government incompetence, if not corruption? Remember how we were counting on collecting $80 million from a lawsuit settlement, only to find out it wouldn’t be coming in this year? And then the coup de grace: the wasteful spending by the Department of Transportation, involving sizeable enough “overhead” for private contractors to make a loan shark blush. Not to mention plans to put away 17-year-olds at the ACI, since doing so is cheaper than keeping them at the Training School.
 
Speaking of the DOT, until now we had always considered Jim Capaldi, who retired as director in December, to be a stand-up guy. Now we wonder for what or whom he was standing up.
 
Some of the related financial shenanigans — including how DOT chief engineer Edmund Parker helped steer state business to a company run by a relative — happened under Capaldi’s watch. P&J have always found Parker a bit devious, especially during public meetings, where he never let the facts get in the way of a response, but the chickens appear to be coming home to roost.
 
So while the ’utes of Rhode Island are getting porked, perhaps their parents will not get amnesia when it comes time to vote for local legislators. Meanwhile, NAMBLA rules, OK?

Welcome to America
P&J are proud to offer a public service to ease assimilation for the illegal immigrants who may be residing here under President Boy George’s new plan for our friends from the south. The first installment of this intermittent aid to settling down in the good ol’ U.S of A: pronunciation.
 
In case of a visit to an emergency room with a relevant ailment (and you sure won’t be seeing a private practice physician), remember that “testicles” does not rhyme with “Hercules.”
 
As P&J have seen every gladiator movie ever made (e.g., Machiste Against Hercules In the Vale of Woe), and definitely every TV episode of Sons of Hercules, we have never heard any hideously dubbed line like, “Look, from afar comes young Testicles.”
 
Por nada, amigos y amigas.

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