Law and order in Nawt Prov

Woman’s leg used as a wishbone during IWW protest
By PHILLIPE AND JORGE  |  August 15, 2007

Nice work by the carabiniere in Nawt Prov, who broke the leg of a young woman who was taking part in a protest outside Jacky’s Galaxie restaurant on Mineral Spring Avenue on Saturday, August 11.
 
Members and friends of the Industrial Workers of the World were protesting the eatery’s supposed business relationship with Dragon Land Trading, a New York restaurant supplier, which is accused by the IWW demonstrators of having violated labor laws.
 
Protester Alexandra Svoboda, 22, underwent surgery for the injury to her leg. The officers who jumped on top of her, Sonny Liston and Brute Force, used it as a wishbone to decide who would get the first atta-boys back at the station after they quelled the leftish uproar.
 
According to the union organizers, Svoboda “was attacked while she was complying with orders by the NPPD to move towards the sidewalk,” after having been told to get out of the street. The group said in a statement. “Alexandra suffered a broken and dislocated knee and a ruptured vascular artery.” To which they would say in Nawt Prov, “She shoulda oughta seen it comin’ to her. Not for nuthin, but we don’t need some effin’ bimbo blockin’ traffic hee-uh unless she works at Foxy. Dragon Lady this.”
 
Svoboda faces charges of assaulting an officer, resisting arrest, and obstruction of justice, and if you think she’s going to beat these charges, you might as well also bet on Sam Brownback to become the GOP nominee for president.
 
As P&J go to press, the labor union has announced it may hold further demonstrations, possibly at the Nawt Prov police station. If so, we urge participants to practice accidentally falling down the concrete steps in the stationhouse a number of times prior to their event.

Pig Boy takes his leave
Speaking of bad behavior, P&J were heartbroken to see how the pink, porcine, pig-eyed Karl Rove, chief campaign and policy advisor to President Dubya the Dumb, is leaving the administration’s inner circle to spend more time with his family. And just where would that sty be located, Pig Boy?
 
The Machiavellian Rove lined up admirably with those who shaped the decision-making of Boy George, along with his fellow war criminal wannabes, vice president and marksman “Big Time” Cheney, and the mentally deteriorating septuagenarian Rummy Rumsfeld.
 
But you have to tip your white hood to anyone who could get a flashcard-schooled, guileless, arrogant, delusional, dim-witted, incurious and prevaricating ex-prep school cheerleader — who had never been successful without Poppy and Mommy’s help — elected governor of Texas, never mind to the most powerful office in the world. (Full points, however, to Al Gore, John Kerry, and their Democratic political no-brain trusts, who virtually handed the little dope the office twice.)
 
Rove still awaits his summonses from Congress about his behind-the-scenes wheeling and dealing in affairs such as the dismissal of select US attorneys general. Hopefully, the chickens will soon come home to roost in Pig Boy’s barnyard.
 
Karl practiced the politics of polarization magnificently. We have only ourselves to blame, as well as Americans and soi-disant patriots (we know the rabid right of the Jesus freaks and armchair generals will love the use of French), now that we have a clueless drugstore cowboy issuing empty threats from beneath his bed in Crawford, while our best and bravest young men and women are being killed, to the tune of 3600 and counting.
 
Yet it was Rove’s skill at solidifying the Paleozoic populous — and most importantly — Mr. and Mrs. Democrat, getting them out to actually vote. That turnout was responsible for putting the GOP in the driver’s seat for the good part of the past seven years. (We know, you were too busy to go to the polls because the lines were soooo long, and Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan were going to be shown drunk, coked-up and boxing topless in a Hollywood nightclub on a celebrity “news” venue that evening.)
 
That he screwed up the 2006 mid-term elections, due to his hubris and support for an insane war, and that this will blemish his legacy, is of some comfort, though.
 
Mission Accomplished!

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