Same as the old boss

By PHILLIPE AND JORGE  |  August 29, 2007

Playing footsie, GOP-style
One of the great mysteries for P+J is why, whenever there is a Wash¬ington controversy in which a major male political figure is discovered to be engaging in superior behavior in a most un-superior way (for example, in a public men’s room), it’s 90 percent likely that the figure is not just a Republican, but a “family values” kind of Republican.
 
Perhaps we shouldn’t be surprised. After all, there is also a boatload of empirical evidence on the non-superior side of how hookers claim to do better business at national GOP conventions than Democratic ones.
 
So Senator Larry Craig, Republican of Idaho, appears to have been the latest swinger. He allegedly tried to signal to a plainclothes police sergeant in an adjoining toilet stall in the Minneapolis airport that he was looking for a bit of company. Court records indicate that Senator Craig pleaded guilty and paid a fine on a lewdness charge.
 
The senator, in a statement issued by his office, complained that the police had “misconstrued” his actions. Those actions, according to the sergeant in the adjoining stall, comprised of “tapping his toes several times and [moving] his foot closer to my foot. I moved my foot up and down slowly. The presence of others did not seem to deter Craig as he moved his right foot so that it touched the side of my left foot which was within my stall area.”
 
While the sergeant said that he recognized this wingtip tango as “a signal used by persons wish¬ing to engage in lewd conduct,” we’re quite certain that Senator Craig will reveal how his footwork was a well-known move used in Pocatello when someone is searching for a fourth for bridge. Either that or he has unusually long legs, and ends up playing footsies with guys in the next stall inadvertently, but on a regular basis.
 
We breathlessly await more cultural enlightenment from Senator Craig, such as the notion that a “friend of Dorothy” is a reference to Dorothy Hamill (i.e., an attraction to ice skating and bowl haircuts). And you can also bet that the senator’s only “tea-bagging” experiences involved oolong, not “Ewwhh, long.”
 
Larry, we hardly knew ye.

< prev  1  |  2  |  3  |   next >
Related: How to neuter the Republicans, Smells like mean spirit, Brokeback men's room, More more >
  Topics: Phillipe And Jorge , Politics, U.S. Republican Party, Nancy Pelosi,  More more >
| More


Most Popular
ARTICLES BY PHILLIPE AND JORGE
Share this entry with Delicious
  •   HOUSE HUNTING  |  April 23, 2014
    It looks like former Rhode Island House Speaker, Rep. Gordon Fox, is in the market for a new domicile.
  •   ONE FINE LADY  |  April 16, 2014
    Nuala Pell was a woman whom Phillipe and Jorge liked, admired, and respected, and we are saddened by her death this week at the age of 89.
  •   MAN OF MORE THAN LETTERS  |  April 09, 2014
    Peter Matthiessen, one of the greatest American writers of his generation and a longtime hero to Phillipe and Jorge, passed away on April 5.
  •   THE GOOD NEWS  |  April 02, 2014
    We like to highlight the inspiring things that occasionally happen in the Biggest Little.
  •   VOTE THEM ALL OUT!  |  March 26, 2014
    Rhode Island’s newly-christened Speaker of the House, Rep. Nicholas Mattiello (D-Cranston), makes Phillipe and Jorge think of someone who, if you went mountain climbing with him and if you started to fall, would be sawing with a knife furiously at the safety line connecting you in case you might take him down with you.

 See all articles by: PHILLIPE AND JORGE