Just the facts

By PHILLIPE AND JORGE  |  January 30, 2008

Another big one for Barack
We can’t tell if Teddy and Sweet Caroline (not to mention our own Patches) will make much of a difference in the upcoming Democratic presidential primaries, but the Kennedys’ endorsement of Barack Obama does have some meaning: it means that all of the worst instincts of Bill & Hillary Clinton have been exposed for all to see, and by someone with more than a little credibility in the world of “progressive politics.”
We agree with Teddy: Obama is ready to be the next president of the United States.
We base this on what the great novelist Toni Morrison noted (with much less attention) on Monday. We sense a rare “wisdom” in Senator Obama.
And unlike many of you who are reading this, we remember well the presidency of John F. Kennedy, and we witnessed the great growth and promise of his younger brother Bobby. In the interim, no one has inspired us in the same way as the senator from Illinois.
Those who think that there can be great leadership without poetry, without inspiration, without the ineffable qualities that allow people to dream of possibility and greatness, are truly out of touch with what has made America great. Think of the audacity of the Founding Fathers. Think of Abraham Lincoln.
Yes, Obama’s probably more along the lines of JFK than Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln, or Franklin Roosevelt, but he is something special.

Sleep tight, America
And how did we spend our $720 million a day on the war in Iraq? Not on the cost of health care for 423,000-plus US children, among other possible worthy uses. It makes you proud to be an American in George Bush’s world, doesn’t it?

You gotta love this. Vo Dilun is now advertising the position of executive director of the state Emergency Management Agency, whose previous head honcho was sent packing as a scapegoat because of the Keystone Kops’ snow job back in December. But guess what? No experience is required in emergency management or public safety! Yowzah! But that’s OK. We are screwing the winning candidate out of a salary comparable with that of other state directors. Man, are we shrewd.
You’re doing a hell of a job, Little Rhody.

Kudos + Congrats
. . . to the aforementioned Providence mayor, David “Little Chi-Chi” Cicilline, who was recently named president of the National Conference of Democratic Mayors, taking over from Shirley Franklin, the mayor of Atlanta. Chi-Chi could end up being both president and vice president, since there is speculation that the VP, Detroit mayor Kwame M. Kilpatrick, might not be able to finish his term.
The Detroit mayor has been embroiled in a scandal involving an extramarital affair (text messages sent between the mayor and his alleged paramour, outgoing chief of staff Christine Beatty, have been splashed over the front page of the Detroit Free Press). Three former police officers also accuse Kilpatrick of firing them for discovering, during an investigation of the mayor’s security detail, that the allegations against the mayor and Ms. Beatty were true and that city money may have been used to pay for out-of-town trysts. We’d say Kilpatrick is in a bit of trouble.
We await with bated breath a loin-clothed Ted Nugent’s announcement that he’s running for mayor, and that Chuck Norris is with him.
The buck stops where?

Send Motor City Shakedowns and Pulitzer-grade tips to P&J@phx.com.

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