Ben Dover’s big bailout

Our congressional officials owe Rhode Island an apology
By PHILLIPE AND JORGE  |  October 9, 2008

Phillipe + Jorge are furious over the $700 billion bailout of the pinstriped pirates of Wall Street, who are laughing as they return to their McMansions and gated communities in Fairfield, Westchester, and Somerset counties, their toxic loans now covered by everyday American taxpayers.

Your average wage earner has been forced to take on debts that 99 percent of us in our right minds wouldn’t touch with a 10-foot pole if the decision was ours to make on our own. This outpouring of rage is what boils up when you open up your pension statement and see that your nest egg has been reduced by 20 percent, thanks to these corporate buccaneers and our absentee political leadership, and knowing that the end is nowhere in sight.

The members of Rhode Island’s congressional delegation owe each and every one of us an apology. Not for voting for this preposterous rescue mission of the band of crooks who got us to this deplorable state, even if it does want to make you puke. They owe it to us for allowing it to happen in the first place. 

Normally, P+J have nothing but good to say about our boys in Washington. Now we are forced to charge them with being asleep at the wheel when it came to the regulation of a financial market that has driven off a cliff.

Because someone damn sure gave these corrupt financiers the green light for greed, and is responsible for setting these thieves free to undermine our economy, and it wasn’t just that little idiot in the White House. Although Dubya and his GOP buddies — step up and take a bow, John “Eight Houses” McCain and his economic Rasputin, Phil “Mental Recession” Gramm, who screamed “free market!” until blue in the face — are now leading the socialist charge to cover the private financial asses of their well-heeled friends with your paycheck, via the government. Long live Lenin, right, Boy George?

All the same, our congressmen are supposed to know when the barn door has been opened, which it has been for years, and raise holy hell about it. Instead, we had the sound of a tree falling in the forest. Shameful.

Making this market laissez-faire disaster worse was the way our napping politicos and the media publicly addressed this crisis. We had House Speaker Nancy Pelosi looking like a Botoxed ghoul with a death’s head grin as she signed the bailout document as though it were the Treaty of Versailles.

She and House Minority Leader John Boehnhead spent more time on their hair and makeup for photo ops than they did providing any real leadership or identifying the real culprits — themselves and their banking and investment lobbyist friends.

We were all told by the corporate media about how “sweeteners” were needed to get the bailout bill finally enacted. Sweeteners for who? Not you and me, honey.

The sweeteners went to the same criminal firms who caused the roof to fall in. And didja hear? We got CEOs of companies that get the bailout billions restricted to taking home only $500,000 a year. Wow! Bow-wow! Guess we’ll have to all chip in to send those out-at-the-elbows masters of the universe a canned ham this Christmas to get them through the holidays.

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