Girl power at Halitosis Hall

Paiva Weed to reach lofty height in old boys' club
By PHILLIPE AND JORGE  |  November 12, 2008

Phillipe + Jorge have always been strong supporters of state Senator Teresa Paiva Weed, the presumptive (God, do we hate that word) new Senate president. This is perhaps because P. is a Paiva Weed constituent and has seen the tangible benefits of her work through the years, both locally and statewide. (Although we do wish she had been a bit more supportive of this year's critical open space bond issue, which she obviously misread — along with a majority of the General Assembly — as far as two-thirds of the public support went.)

On Teresa's side of the General Assembly, it was wonderful to see the Pinga!-ing of both the arrogant and unctuous Senate Finance Committee chair, Steve Alves, and the forgetful Senate president, Joe Montalbano, who went down as the electorate spoke. Hopefully with this tabula rasa from which to begin, Teresa will rise to the occasion.

On the House side, however, we have the SOS (same-old-shit) leadership of Speaker "Blackjack Billy" Murphy, Majority Leader Gordo Fox, and House Finance Committee chair Steve "the Caterer" Costantino. These are the geniuses that, with the complicity of "the Don," Governor Carcieri, have led us to be the poster child for economic disaster in the US.

Quick quiz: Which of these four do you think has gotten smarter or more financially astute in the past six months? Thought so.

So if you are looking for solutions to our projected $372 million deficit for the next year, we suggest you Google "Financial Management for Dummies," because it appears that with the economic wizards that have just been returned to office, and their Silence of the Lambs followers, that Alpo for your aging parents and Carnation Evaporated Milk for your kiddies is going to look more and more like some fine dining for Little Rhody families in the very near future.

Hey, you voted for them. Congratulations.

Oh, how P+J shall miss our wonderful pal, the King of Westconnaug, House Minority Whip Nicholas Gorham, at the General Assembly this year.

Little Nicky, who we first met and were mightily entertained by when he was a fledgling sales rep for the Providence Eagle, got beaten in the race for his Coventry House seat by Scott Pollard. To Mr. Pollard, we wish only the best, and your observant correspondents will be checking upon him to see if he meets the impeccable rabble-rousing standards set by our boy.

P+J also send our heartfelt condolences to Senator June Gibbs, who lost her Senate seat to Louis DiPalma in their Little Compton/Tiverton/Middletown/Newport district. The lovely 86-year-old GOP doyenne Ms. Gibbs, who continues to kayak and swim like a young naiad in her neighborhood, has been one of the most stalwart champions of the environment the state has ever seen, and she will be greatly missed. Although we do believe she will most likely be seen next snorkeling in Pago-Pago. But we hear many fine things about her successor, Mr. DiPalma, so perhaps a notable passing of the torch.

P+J are incredibly grateful to Barack Obama for naming US Representative Rahm Emanuel of Illinois as his chief of staff. The mileage we will doubtless get out of the self-important, short-tempered, raccoon-eyed homunculus Rahm will be almost as column-filling as Bill Clinton, his champion, was during his legacy-destroying flameout in the recent presidential campaign.

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