Gubernatorial agonistes

By PHILLIPE & JORGE  |  August 5, 2009

Think about it, folks, as you are enjoying the current Newport summer traffic. Simply shut down traffic on both sides of the bridge for, say, 30 to 45 minutes. When the traffic snarls out to Route 4 on the west side, and on the east backs up America's Cup Boulevard to Thames Street, and out onto Route 114 to the Super Stop & Shop on West Main Road, ask the good burghers of the City by the Sea how that's going to boost their tourism, never mind send the locals insane? And how's that looking for emergency vehicle traffic? I guess you just shouldn't plan on "taking a heart" when Weaver's Cove is busy making money.

To Capt. Perry and his fellow waterheads, may we remind them of the Cheers episode in which Cliff Clavin informs Rebecca Howe's Navy admiral father that he once served in the Coast Guard, to which the admiral replies, "You must be quite proud, Miss."

(As we went to print, the Urinal reported that key portions of the Coast Guard's letter of decision to OK the LNG tankers deliveries had been removed, supposedly for security reasons. Or perhaps because they have no clue about what they are doing, and exposing their weighty thinking might result in further embarrassment for Capt. Perry and his braindead trust?)

Send Atomic Fireballs and Pulitzer-grade tips to p&j@phx.com.

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