Onward, Christian governor!

Carcieri gets "loose"; plus, farewell to Tedy, and mind-boggling Bush
By PHILLIPE & JORGE  |  September 2, 2009

It's nice to see Governor Don "Laughing Boy" Carcieri loosening up by sharing the real Donnie Boy with the people of Vo Dilun. Initially (certainly in his first campaign for governor in 2002) Don tried to come across as a moderate conservative, not unlike his immediate predecessor, Linc Almond. The difference would be Carcieri's energetic personality and alleged management and corporate/financial prowess.

As we soon found out, Carcieri was none too moderate and, especially in terms of social policy, quite the hard right-winger. It is obvious to any Vo Dilunduh that Carcieri has more in common with Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell than John Chafee and Linc Almond.

So now an advocacy organization from Massachusetts, the Massachusetts Family Institute, has invited Laughing Boy to speak at their annual fundraising event. Everyone remember this: Vo Dilun Governor Carcieri is keen to raise money for those who say this about their organization: "MFI does not consider homosexual behavior to be merely an alternative lifestyle or sexual 'preference'; it is an unhealthy practice and destructive to individuals, families and society. Our compassion for those plagued by same-sex attraction compels us to support the healing of those who wish to change their behavior."

At Casa Diablo, this statement qualifies as hate and bigotry, and we have this to say to the Massachusetts Family Institute: "P&J do not consider bigotry toward and hatred of those who are LGBT merely an alternative "opinion" or preference. Hatred and bigotry is an unhealthy practice and destructive to individuals, families, and society. We pray that those plagued by hate will be healed."

We don't expect to be alive 50 years from now, but you can bet that Carcieri will be looked upon with the same fondness as Barnett, Wallace, Faubus, and all the other Christian governors who tried to explain how race-mixin' was against the Bible. Same-sex marriage is a civil right. Superior behavior is part of the whole crazy quilt of normal human behavior and in the not-too-distant future, gay/straight will be perceived as just like left-handed/right-handed. It's sad to see a governor so proud to be on the wrong side of history.


As the verbal bouquets are thrown in the direction of New England Patriots' linebacker Tedy Bruschi upon the announcement of his retirement, after becoming an iconic figure for the franchise during his 13 years in Foxboro, let's give the scribes a miss and let Phillipe and Jorge look at the farewell from the visceral standpoint.

Every Pats fan worth his trademark New England Elvis logo was delighted that the team had acquired a hard hitter out of Arizona with one of the great names in football lore, along with Bronko Nagurski, Crazylegs Hirsch, and Big Daddy Lipscomb: Tedy "Brew-ski," and make no matter how he performed on the field early in his career. That he evolved into one of the top big game players in NFL history and the owner of three Super Bowl championship rings was icing on the cake. A cold Budweiser or six, a fourth down goal line stand, and a linebacker named "Bruschi" stuffing a runner on fourth and inches from the end zone was a New England dreamscape. And he was all ours, all five Super Bowls' worth of controlled mayhem and inspiration.

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Related: Capuano for Senate, Blowhard, interrupted, The plan to turn Rhode Island red, More more >
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  •   ONWARD, CHRISTIAN GOVERNOR!  |  September 02, 2009
    It's nice to see Governor Don "Laughing Boy" Carcieri loosening up by sharing the real Donnie Boy with the people of Vo Dilun. Initially (certainly in his first campaign for governor in 2002) Don tried to come across as a moderate conservative, not unlike his immediate predecessor, Linc Almond.
  •   UNITED WE STAND  |  August 26, 2009
    With the local AFL-CIO elections coming up, Phillipe and Jorge would like to make a rare union endorsement by saying that nothing would please us more than to have George Nee, current secretary-treasurer of the organization, win his bid to take over departing Frank Montanaro's position as the organization's president.  
  •   RISD'S HOPE-LESS SITUATION  |  August 12, 2009
    On August 3 it was announced by the Rhode Island School of Design that Hope Alswang had resigned as the director of the RISD Museum. Those who have followed the coverage of this story may be somewhat confused by the revelation that absolutely everyone acknowledged that Alswang was a superlative museum director and that absolutely no one involved in the arts scene at RISD or in the state of Vo Dilun thinks that she voluntarily "resigned." It was said that she loved the job, and the vague announcement that Alswang left to "pursue other opportunities" sounds as suspicious as elected officials dropping out of election campaigns to "spend more time with their families."
  •   GUBERNATORIAL AGONISTES  |  August 05, 2009
    On Tuesday, WRNI political reporter and former Phoenix news editor and master of the Casa Diablo elbow bend, Ian Donnis, broke the news that veteran political communications specialist, Bill Fischer, head ramrod at True North Communications, had signed on as spokesman for the State Treasurer Frank Caprio's gubernatorial campaign committee.
  •   THE IQUITAROD  |  July 08, 2009
    Phillipe and Jorge wish they could claim to have coined that headline about professional loony Sarah Palin's resignation as governor of Alaska prior to her first term being completed, but full points go to Geoffrey Dunn of The Huffington Post .

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