Food fights

By MATT TAIBBI  |  August 11, 2010

LEADER BOARD
BRUNO SOUZA (FLAMENGO, BRAZIL) | murder for hire, feeding girlfriend's remains to Rottweilers | 100
QUENTIN WYCHE (EX-FLORIDA INTERNATIONAL) | murder, taunting | 100
JEREMY GREEN (EX-BROWNS) | kiddie porn, coke | 90
BOGDAN RUDENKO (EX–COLORADO SPRINGS GOLD KINGS) | murder | 90
BRENT VINSON (EX-TENNESSEE) | accessory to murder | 89
MIGUEL STARKS AND REGINALD RICE (EX–THE CITADEL) | Clockwork Orange–style home invasion | 88
PHILLIP MERLING (DOLPHINS) | wantonly whacking pregnant girlfriend | 88
ROBERT MITCHELL AND KELLY WHITNEY (EX–SETON HALL) | eight — count 'em, eight — counts of kidnapping | 85
JAMAL GREENE (EX-KANSAS) | Clockwork Orange armed home invasion | 80
JAMIE HARRIS AND KEVIN PHILLIP (DREXEL) | armed home invasion robbery netting two cell phones | 80
LAWRENCE TAYLOR (EX-GIANTS) | sullying a legend; statutory rape | 71
TYLER CAMPBELL (COASTAL CAROLINA) | kidnapping and pet assault | 70
GUERDWICH MONTIMERE (ODESSA-PERMIAN) | being someone else | 70
WARREN SAPP (EX-BUCS) | girlfriend-choking | 63
CLINTON HART (EX-RAMS) | Facebook fracas | 61
ANTWON CHISHOLM , MIKE FLEURIZARD, AND FRED PICKETT (MARSHALL) | robbing, kicking pizza-delivery boys | 60
BEN ROETHLISBERGER (STEELERS) | another sexual assault allegation | 60
GARY BROWN (FLORIDA) | girl-hitting/scratching | 58
SANTONIO HOLMES (STEELERS) | chucking a glass at chick's face in nightclub | 58
LAMICHAEL JAMES (OREGON) | girlfriend-choking | 58
MONTEZ ROBINSON (GEORGIA) | family violence | 58
DEON ANDERSON (COWBOYS) | scary gun-waving incident | 50
ZACK KASSIAN (SABRES DRAFTEE) | punching some sap in the face | 48
GERALD AND BRANDON LAIRD, AND THEIR CRAZY-ASS GRANDPA (TIGERS, YANKEES) | messing with Eddie House's wife, attacking security guards | 48
CEDRIC BENSON (BENGALS) | punching a dude in a bar in Austin | 41
GILBERT ARENAS (WIZARDS) | fun with guns | 40
CHRIS TERRY (EX-CHIEFS, BENGALS) | a standard "Bulldog" | 35
DUSTY DVORACEK (BEARS) | being a big hulking drunken menace to bouncers | 31
TERRANCE TOLIVER (LSU) | resisting arrest, getting himself Tasered | 31
DEQUAN STARLING AND T.J. DRAKEFORD (MARSHALL) | shoving cops while smashed | 28
DAMON EVANS (UNIVERSITY OF GEORGIA) | driving drunk with mistress's red panties in lap | 26
KIKO ALONSO (OREGON) | DUI; another arrested Duck | 25
RONNIE BROWN (DOLPHINS) | DUI | 25
CHRIS CHELIOS (CHICAGO WOLVES) | DUI | 25
FRANKIE HAMMOND (FLORIDA) | DUI | 25
REY MAUALUGA (BENGALS) | driving drunk en route to teenie ménage a trois | 25
VONDRELL MCGEE (TEXAS) | DUI | 25
GARY TINSLEY (MINNESOTA) | fleeing cops on a moped | 23
VINCE YOUNG (TITANS) | overreacting to remarks made about his alma mater | 23
ZACH BROWNELL (SOUTH ALABAMA) | drunkenly smashing parked cars | 22
JEREMIAH MASOLI AND GARRETT EMBRY (OREGON) | boosting laptops | 20
GUY MORRISS (TEXAS A&M COMMERCE) | suppressing First Amendment | 19
SHAUN ROGERS (BROWNS) | putting loaded .45 on airport metal detector | 19
J.J. HONES (STANFORD) | golf-cart DUI | 18
RYAN LEAF (EX-CHARGERS) | being the worst quarterback of all time, stealing hydrocodone | 17
SHAWNE WILLIAMS AND KAREEM COOPER (ex-MEMPHIS) | gun-and-weed traffic stop | 15
CHARLES SHACKLEFORD (EX-NETS) | having huge feet; pretending to be Jayson Williams; pills | 14
JEREMIAH MASOLI (OREGON) | backing out of a driveway without a license, with pot in the glove box | 10
TERRY GLENN (EX-PATRIOTS) | blew off rental-car bill | 9
CHARLES ROGERS (EX-LIONS) | violated court order by passing out drunk in a plate of Mexican food | 8
KEITH MCCANTS (EX-BUCCANEERS) | being a pipehead over and over again | 6
MIKE RAGONE (NOTRE DAME) | blazing up in a car | 6
ZACH RANDOLPH (GRIZZLIES) | financing weed dealing in Indy? | 2 (PENDING)
TRENT DITTMER, ZACH METTENBERGER, JOSH PARRISH (GEORGIA) | underage boozing | 1
BLAINE GAUTIER, RODNEY GILLIS, DEVON LEWIS-BUCHANAN, CHRIS RICHARD (LOUISIANA-LAFAYETTE) | weed, weed, weed, and weed | 1
PHIL SIMMS (TITANS) | weed | 1
COREY STOKES (VILLANOVA) | peeing between cars | 0.43
JAMARCUS RUSSELL (EX-RAIDERS) | minding his own business with codeine syrup | 0
JORDAN LOVE (GEORGIA) | refusing to give middle name to pushy cops | -14

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