GREY'S ANATOMY: beautiful intern babies |
Grey’s Anatomy is America’s number one show — and the Washington Post had this to say about it: “congratulations, you could probably be writing junk like this yourself.” WRONG. Dear Post, could you write a one woman-McVet-McDreamy wet dream to the Doo Doodo Doo beat of Outkast’s “Idlewild Blue”? Could you write a genital-piercing/IUD medical emergency? Could you write this “junk”? Washington Post, this ain’t junk. Grey’s Anatomy is the best oversexed, McDreamy, McSteamy, hospital soap, ahem, ever. You say junk. I say haute-garbage — with an accent, of course. And, like any haute-garbage/art/school of thought, this one needs proper grading. It’s midterm time, beautiful intern babies! So here it is — the interns, the grades, and how each of them could stand to up their scores by the end of the semester/season.
Meredith Grey, B
Give the girl some morphine, and she turns out to be cool. No more lachrymose sex, no more McVet vs. McDreamy olden-day dating (boring), and, well, no more dark and stormy Meredith. I like. Not sure where the “bright and shiny” thing was going, but we’re somewhere now… the girl might even get laid. I like Meredith better waxed and plucked and wearing a clean top than, well, not. I like Meredith better picking McDreamy than whining “Pick me!” I like Meredith better naked in the bathtub than fully-clothed in the locker-room shower. Basically, I like Meredith better without her appendix. I think the vestigial structure was bringing her down.
To improve her grades: The less Meredith worries about her family, the more Meredith has slutty-intern sex—A+.
Alex Karev, A
Alex has abandoned his dumb-ass fratitude and he got dark and twisty, too! This season, he’s McAngel, a lamb-boy, ob-gyn secret lover. Saving a newborn baby from the trash? Check. Saving a little girl/superhero from beating herself up with a baseball bat? Check. Saving a middle-aged lung cancer patient from celibacy in the Emerald City bathroom? Check, check, check! I love McAngel! McAngel has a big heart and a big… well, I’m assuming he got over his sexual dysfunction, particularly because — mark my words — he and Addison are about to do it. McAngel and McAddison? Sigh. I’d like an order of McBaby with my McHappyCouple please.
Cristina Yang, C
What the hell happened, Cristina?
She was the man in Season Two. Abortion? No problem. Ectopic pregnancy? No problem. Communication hang-ups? Only sissies communicate. Season-Two Dr. Yang kicked ass because that’s what she was: an ass-kicking doctor. Who are we supposed to count on to save people in this place, now? While other “doctors” detach middle-age couples stuck together during sex, you are in the OR performing real surgeries. Yang, pull it together. Otherwise, how am I supposed to focus on the patients?
To improve her grades: What will become of Burktina? And more importantly, who will Cristina sleep with once she dumps Burke and resumes her valedictatorship? Dr. Hahn? I’m holding auditions for another deus-ex-machine hot doctor — perhaps McExtremey? — to come in and swoop Cristina off her Burke-trodden ass.
