Herbie, fully loaded
Just when you thought the “supernaturally large quantity of marijuana” sports bust was a thing of the past — a foggy “did I really do that shit?” memory in the basketball-size head of Nate Newton — in comes a new story from Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, where three Coastal Carolina University football players got themselves jacked for carrying the big stash.
Mario Tynes, Eric Brown Jr., and Rickey Johnson were all nailed just after midnight on October 14, following a CCU football game (a 51-0 win over Chowan, in case you’re not up on the latest action in the irrelevant Big South conference). Police had pulled over the guys’ hubcap-less white Ford LTD after receiving 911 reports of men “flashing guns” out of the vehicle window. Inside the car they found two guns, three pounds of marijuana, and $1345 in cash. The guns were discovered after police noticed a magazine about firearms in the back seat; the weed after cops saw a “green leafy substance” under the driver’s seat.
Cops immediately booked the trio of Chanticleers (plus two other men who aren’t on the team) on drug and weapons charges, but were a little puzzled by the presence of blood on one of the guns. That mystery was solved about 90 minutes later, when a man at a nearby apartment complex called in and complained of having been assaulted and robbed. The caller apparently left out the detail about having been robbed of the three pounds of marijuana, as is now believed, but whatever. The victim had to seek medical treatment for a cut on his head after the men forced their way into his apartment; police matched the blood on the seized gun to the victim, and new armed-robbery and burglary charges were added.
CCU Athletic Director Warren Koegel subsequently dismissed all three players from the team and revoked their scholarships, humorously explaining that he’d done so because the players had violated the CCU athlete’s code of conduct. Um, gee, I hope their actions were in violation of the code of conduct. Because if a pistol-whipping, drug-thieving home invasion is not covered, y’all have a problem down there in Myrtle Beach.
Anyway, give these jokers 85 points for their trouble. Armed-robbery and assault is no joke, as they’re sure to find out once they get to court.
Can we get through a week in the NFL without some 340-pound guy punching a woman in the face? Just one?
On the heels of enormous Steelers running back Najeh Davenport’s assault charge comes word that St. Louis Rams offensive lineman Claude Terrell, who has been one of the league’s classic underperforming asshats for some time now, has been arrested on two felony counts. One of the culprits responsible for the future infirmity of QB Marc Bulger (guaranteed this year by the Rams offensive line’s collective matador blocking technique — ¡Ole!), Terrell has been in almost weekly trouble for a variety of team-related offenses: failing to make weight, showing up late for team meetings, screaming at coaches, that sort of thing. This in addition to already being on probation for assault upon a family member, stemming from a domestic-violence bust two years ago.