Tuesday, January 15, 2008

In light of the start yesterday of the demolition of the old Providence fruit and produce warehouse, the headline on this post seems prophetic.

And Jef at Greater City: Providence had previously noted this tart observation:

J. from ArtInRuins posted this rather prescient missive on UrbanPlanet a couple days ago:

1. Acquire a building that was once used for industry, preferably an obsolete one. These buildings have been known to be situated close to water and shipping lanes, so will have great views which you can exploit later.

2. Don’t worry if the building was on the National Register, or protected by the State. Don’t listen to the people who may have great ideas to redevelop the project. You don’t want all that hassle and all those “conversations”. 
3. Sit on it. For a long time. It would help if it was already derelict when you bought it because the previous owner was losing money as their industry was becoming obsolete.
4. Let graffiti accumulate. Hipsters will love it, but they don’t vote. The neighborhood will soon forget about the activity that went on there and the buildings own “glory days”. It will start to look horrible, and they will start to complain about it.
5. Keep sitting on it. It would help if you complained about the cost of potential renovations while you did so.
6. Let security around the perimeter go lax. Teenagers will get in, wreck the place, and maybe start a fire or two. If you are lucky, that will take care of it. If not, it becomes a hazard and a public nuisance.
7. Finally, after years of neglect, declare the place not worth saving, and suggest to the City that they let you demolish it. The city will go along because the neighbors have been complaining, and since you hold the checkbook, they will be too scared to demand anything more from you.
8. (Optional) Build a parking lot while you “wait for the market to become ripe”
9. Build something there that won’t last for as long as the building you just let go to waste, but instead will remain shiny and new for about five. Sell it to an out-of-town conglomerate once you’ve made your money, and let them worry about the upkeep.
10. Rinse. Repeat.

1/15/2008 9:37:39 AM by Not For Nothing | Comments [1] |  
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