Saturday, January 05, 2008

A Modest Proposal for RI prosperity*

When it comes to leasing the state Lottery, the Pell Bridge, and possibly other institutions, this was the response, as reported today by Kathy Gregg, from the governor's office:

Speaking for Governor Carcieri earlier this week, his spokesman, Jeff Neal, said: “Selling our future rights to lottery proceeds so we can avoid making tough budget decisions today would be a huge disservice to future generations of Rhode Islanders. That’s exactly what the General Assembly has done several times in recent years with tobacco money, and it has only made Rhode Island’s budget problems worse, not better.”

Yet now is hardly the time for half-measures or conventional and narrow-minded thinking. Rhode Island, with its picaresque political culture, has cultivated a strongly developed national brand, and it's high time to exploit it.

Leasing some of the above-referenced state properties should be just a start. A potential windfall waits in the wings with the sale of corporate naming rights along these lines:

-- The CIA Big Blue Bug. Nothing helps to overcome the adverse publicity of losing torture videotapes like linking oneself with Rhode Island's favorite oversized insect. Projected value: $150 million.

-- The Halliburton Providence DPW. Trying to move past the stain of corporate boondoggles in Iraq? Doing a better job with the Capital City's next piddling three-inch snow storm offers the chance for redemption and accolades from a grateful public. Projected value: $225 million.

-- The Rogaine Squirrel. The current whereabouts of Buddy Cianci's collection of no-longer-in-use hairpieces is a well-kept secret. Yet considering the regenerative qualities of Rhode Island's rascal king, his hair helper has prodigous marketing value in making pitches to the follicly challenged. Projected value: $175 million.

These concepts are just a start. When it comes to the smallest state, despite the best efforts of our public officials, it's clear that we have been selling ourselves short.

*With apologies to Jonathan Swift.

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