Monday, February 12, 2007
In case you missed our blow-by-blow live-blogging of the Grammys last night, here's a link to the whole bloated mess. Remind us never to do that again.
READ: OTD blogs the Grammys
1. "Hi, I'm Hilary Duff. Can I take your order?"
2. Shoulder pads. Oh, wait, sorry -- that's just Fergie's shoulders.
3. Nelly Furtado stole that swan from Bjork, then ran it though a paper shredder.
4. Bela Fleck's Flecktones later sought political asylum on Gnarls Barkley's tourbus.
5. Imogean Heap, seconds after an assassin's bullet made her hat explode.
6. James Blunt, seen here wearing Linda Perry.
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Kingmaker.
- Record of the Year: Not Ready To Make Nice, Dixie Chicks
- Album Of The Year: Taking The Long Way, Dixie Chicks
- Song Of The Year: Not Ready To Make Nice, Dixie Chicks
- Best Rock Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocal: Dani California, Red Hot Chili Peppers
- Best Metal Performance: Eyes Of The Insane, Slayer
- Best Rock Song: Dani California, Red Hot Chili Peppers
- Best Rock Album: Stadium Arcadium, Red Hot Chili Peppers
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Best Country Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocal: Not Ready To Make Nice, Dixie Chicks
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Best Country Album: Taking The Long Way, Dixie Chicks
Complete Grammy results here.
Who the hell'd you think it was gonna be? We're almost not even mad because they showed the Misfits part of the video.
...and inspiring Christina Aguilera, of course.
"When I was six years old I saw Elvis on television and I knew what I wanted to do with my life."
Um . . . make people despise the music industry?
1. Listen to it. (Lewis Black)
2. Put it on your head. (Chick Corea)
3. Eat it. (Ike Turner)
4. Give it to Enya. (Note the devil horns.)
AAAEEEEEEUUGGH! MAKE IT STOP!!!
Not even Carrie Underwood in a seethrough shirt can wash the taste of this double-deckered shit-tastic BLT of bullcrap out our mouths.
So this has turned into a coronation for Mary J. Blige and the Dixie Chicks. Re: Chicks. For a group of women who we're practically culturally obligated to make nice to, they sure do look like they could use a good clubbing. Mary J, whose performances, like her albums, can veer wildly from off-key, American Idol terrible to skin-tingling genius, at least had a good night. But someone needs to explain why, of all years, this year? Why not Mariah? Why not, dunno, Nelly Furtado? Someone who had a shitload of hit records or something?
Sporting, lads, good shew.
We had hoped, against any real hope, that T.I. would take it. Luda's the Hollywood choice now for as long as he can make records. Couldn't have been pure cooincidence that Terrence Howard came out to present the next award, could it?
Given how the night has gone so far, the Red Hot Chili Peppers and the Dixie Chicks are the only real contenders for Album of the Year. We're gonna try a screenshot when we get a chance to rewind, but our pal Mike Johnson is certain that the Chili Peppers' drummer Chad Smith was behind the kit for the Dixie Chicks. The Don King of Rock -- leave with the winner, Chad. Nice job.
Douchebag. How dare he take one of Justin's trophies! He's always so likeable when you see him hanging with Kanye on VH1, but everytime we see him on stage -- like, in that bored-to-deaf thing he just did with John Legend and Corrine Bailey Rae -- we want to smash his chin in with a brick. 
Here's the AP wire on the swag bags at tonight's Grammys:
LOS ANGELES (AP) - Lionel Richie summed up the appeal of the swag suite at the Grammy Awards pretty succinctly as he strode through: "Free! Free, free, free!"
Richie was among the stars who were "gifted" before the awards show, at a tent outside the Staples Center, where the awards are held. John Legend, Rihanna, Smokey Robinson and James Blunt were among the celebrities who strode through and picked up a wide array of free stuff, including pricey skin-care products, video games, $400 pendants, $300 espresso makers, free passes to Disneyland and stereo systems for iPods.
Rihanna tried on a pair of Chinese Laundry shoes, while Richie picked out a $260 pair of Gucci sunglasses.
Presenters and performers at the Grammys are given $30,000 worth of gifts from Distinctive Assets, while those who pop into the gifting suites can pick up an additional $15,000 in swag.
With Slayer, we can understand why the Academy has overlooked 'em all these years. But Rick Rubin? Seriously? Rick Rubin NEVER WON A GODDAMN GRAMMY? How is that possible? Well, he's got one now. Fresh from the inbox, their respective statements. Note: the Slayer one is way funnier, so scroll for it.
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
RICK RUBIN WINS FIRST GRAMMY AWARD
Los Angeles, CA - February 11, 2007 -- Nominated for his work with the Dixie Chicks, Red Hot Chili Peppers, and Justin Timberlake (all of whom are up for Album of the Year), as well as System of a Down and Slayer (who just won the Grammy for Best Metal Performance), Rick Rubin has won his first Grammy Award in the category of Producer of the Year.
This was Rubin's fifth Grammy nomination.
"It feels so good to know our work touched listeners enough to vote it the best of the year," said Rubin. "During the process, we are making our own favorite music. This award is confirmation that what is true and real in the emotion of music is contagious."
SLAYER WINS FIRST-EVER GRAMMY AWARD
Los Angeles, CA -- February 11, 2007 -- Slayer, the undisputed kings of thrash/punk/metal have been awarded their first-ever Grammy Award. The track, "Eyes of the Insane," from the band's most recent album, "Christ Illusion," took the Grammy in the category of Best Metal Performance. Fellow category nominees included Lamb of God, Mastodon, Ministry and Stone Sour.
This was Slayer's second Grammy nomination, the first being in 2002 for the track "Disciple" (from "God Hates Us All"), also in the Best Metal Performance category.
Slayer, currently headlining a North American tour, did not attend the Grammy's presentation, but vocalist/bassist Tom Araya had this to say about the win from his hotel room in Columbus, OH: " Jeff [Hanneman] and I put a lot into 'Eyes of the Insane' so we're thrilled that the Grammy voters took the time to listen to it, and then vote for it. We're out here on the road and we're all really, really happy."
What the fuck was that whole thing about?
Basically all we're waiting for now. To get you through these eight-minute commercial breaks, here's some footage of Justin rehearsing his Grammy routine, including a stop-and-start version of "What Goes Around Comes Around." Showstopper.
UPDATE: Good timing, eh? Well, it is the best song he's ever written. Although "Gone" was some hot shit too.
It's not even eight o'clock, and already the following people have lost a Grammy:
- Natasha Bedingfield, Sherly Crow, Pink, and KT Tunstall (Best Femals Pop Vocal went to Christina Aguilera)
- James Blunt, John Legend, Paul McCartney, and Daniel Powter (thank god, although the winner of Best Male Pop Vocal, John Mayer, isn't a hell of a lot better)
- Death Cab for Cutie, the Fray, Keane, and the Pussycat Dolls (Best Pop Perfornance by a Duo or Group went to Black Eyed Peas for . . . "My Humps"!)
- Goldfrapp and the Pet Shop Boys, who have lost two categories each: Best Dance Recording went, rightfully, to Mssrs. Timberlake and Timbaland for "Sexy Back", while Best Electronic/Dance Album went to Madonna's Confessions on a Dance Floor.
- Beck, Tom Petty, and Neil Young (Dylan took all geezers with Best Solo Rock Vocal)
- Snow Patrol, the Killers, Coldplay, the Raconteurs, U2 and Green Day (all of whom lost to the Chili Peppers, either in Rock Performance, Duo or Group or Best Rock Song)
- Buckcherry, Nine Inch Nails, System of a Down, and Tool. Let the retching begin: Wolfmother won Best Hard Rock, continuing that category's legacy of cluelessness.
- Lamb of God, Mastodon, Ministry, and Stone Sour. SLAYER WON A FUCKING GRAMMY. No shit they couldn't show that on TV.
- Arctic Monkeys. Lost Twice. Once in Best Rock Istrumental, to the Flaming Lips, and once in Best Alternative Music Album, which was the first in a long nignt of Gnarls Barkley mentions. Gnarls took out Thom Yorke and the YYYs as well, and went on to trump Outkast and Prince in the Best Urban/Alternative Performance. Hey, check it out . . . Gnarls Barkley is equal-opportunity alternative!
- Janet Jackson, Kelis, and Ne-Yo. All lost to Beyonce for Best Contemporary R&B Album.
- Busta, Missy, Lupe Fiasco, and Mos Def . . . all lost to T.I.'s "What You Know," for Best Rap Solo Performance. No argument there. BTW, we finally just saw ATL last night. Dude.
- Outkast (second loss), Ludacris, Nelly/Paul Wall/Ali & Gipp, and the Roots. All losers. To Chamillionaire for "Ridin." Again . . . no argument.
What the hell else is there to give away? Not much.
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