Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Well, we didn't get nominated for the Outstanding Boston Music Blog category. We heard from the organizers that it was close, but in the end, they went with Rob Zombie's movie blog, Godsmack's myspace blog, a cocktail napkin that Peter Wolf signed in 1987, and Brad Delp's hangnail. We tried pointing out that a hangnail is not a blog, to which the organizers sneered, "Oh, sure, and next you'll be complaining he's not from Boston!" Whatever. There's always next year.

Now, the BMA's didn't invent the convention of awards shows that pander to the obvious, and we certainly didn't invent the hallowed pasttime of bitching about our friends who didn't get nominated. (Uh, we think the Noise Board might have the patent though.) Mostly, we just find the BMAs logic bafflingly amusing. We're talking about an event voted on by people who claim to know something about the music industry, but every year they insist on parading their complete disregard about the most rudimentary music-biz distinctions. Our favorite annual bungle? They award three separate Album of the Year trophies: one for "indie" releases, one for "local" releases (for bands signed to regional imprints or self-releases), and one for "major label" releases. This year, Mission of Burma, who record for the indie label Matador, are nominated in the major label category. Aberdeen City, who are signed to RedInk/Columbia Records, are up for the indie label category. And Josh Ritter, who lives in Idaho and is signed to the mega-indie V2, is nominated for the local category.

Still, it's hard to argue with an organization that offers three nominations for our favorite band ever, Bang Camaro -- which works out, neatly, to exactly one nomination for every gig they've ever played. Also, high-fives and a pile of blow for whomever put together "Best Female Vocalist," surely the only place you will find Amanda Palmer, Damone's Noelle LeBlanc, and Jo-Jo on the same ballot (let alone in the same sentence). Still, duders: no Casey Dienel? What gives?

Anyway -- cue the anticlimax -- yes, Virginia, the Dresden Dolls lead all comers with six nominations, Godsmack somehow still got five, Waltham got four (look, we personally discovered that band, but anyone with a pulse knows it's been over for at least four years), and a bunch of people got three. (Speaking of which: think the Dresden Dolls are too needy? Ben Folds will come draw dicks on your wall.) Let it be known: getting three BMA nominations is the new handjob. Grace Potter, Damone, Campaign for Real Time, the Click Five, Dropkicks, Ab City, you can collect your reach-around at the back door. You probably don't want to be that dude, but if you do, you can vote for this fiasco at some other web site beginning September 8.

P.S.: we got an email the other day from a nationally-recognized indie publicist, re: Protokoll. The pitch went like this: the band has "landed the cover story of Northeast Performer's November issue, an upcoming feature in Boston Magazine, and are nominated for four Boston Music Awards." Which sounds good if you're from Kentucky. But anyone who lives inside Route 128 could tell you that this is not really stuff you brag about: it's the magic formula for describing the downward-spiralling career of a band that's going nowhere at 800 miles an hour. On the upside, Franki Chan's label is re-issuing their EP. So at least they'll have a good remix.

Because we don't know how to use Photoshop, we're uploading the complete BMA nominations as image files. Go nuts: Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Page 4.