Best Totally-Legal, All-Ages Drug Dealer
Dean's Sweets

We like our drink, and if you catch us off-guard we might confess to some other vices, but our true addiction here is chocolate. And we just ditched our previous dealer in favor of Dean's Sweets. Sure, it costs a bit more, but the purity, the quality, the high — so much better! Even if it means we can't get our fix as often, because we're short on dough. We do admit to sometimes totally losing our minds and slumming it with Lindt or — heaven forfend! — Hershey's. But that's just a sign we've gone too long without the real stuff.
Dean's sells just one product: dark-chocolate truffles (with flavor selections including maple, cayenne pepper, rum, and stout — yes, the beer). This isn't the kind of dealer where you can walk in and get a little of everything. No chocolate bars, no chocolate-coated pretzels or raisins or other foodstuffs, no cookies, no ice cream. Just handmade dark-chocolate truffles with not-too-sweet fillings that thicken the tongue, make your eyes roll back in your head, and induce that beautiful floating sensation of total bliss. And then the high wears off, and you gotta go back again.
Dean's Sweets | 82 Middle St, Portland | 207.899.3664 | deanssweets.com