But then a marvel unfolds: one rookie, who probably just got his driver’s license and looks to be at the height of teenage awkwardness, gives a surprisingly believable 60-second performance, in which he challenges Brian Milonas for the Heavyweight Championship. Even he is surprised by his act, although it’s safe to assume it had been rehearsed before a bedroom mirror for years. The speech is delivered with a confidence it seems he has not been afforded in any other venue, as though everything makes sense under his adopted persona of the Booty Hunter.
As he grows older, Booty Hunter will probably throw these childhood dreams by the wayside to don the suit and tie of a CPA or a corporate lawyer; it would certainly pay better and be much less stigmatizing. But he might just choose to postpone the transition into the real world to linger in the realm of the professional wrestler, where pageantry and machismo intersect, and one can only hope to be called an asshole by a few hundred strangers.
On Friday, May 25, Chaotic Wrestling will host WWE superstar John Cena at the Triton Regional High School, in Byfield. Sean Bartlett is a freelance writer living in Boston. He can be reached atbartlett.sean@gmail.com.
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