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Review: My Bloody Valentine 3-D

Not for the squeamish
By TOM MEEK  |  January 20, 2009
2.0 2.0 Stars

VIDEO: The trailer for My Bloody Valentine 3-D

Back in the early '80s, before Michael, Jason, and Freddy took off as slasher all-stars, there were other less famous genre seedlings, like Black Christmas and the homonymous source for this pedestrian hack-'em-up about a pickax-wielding wonk gone berserk in a sleepy mining town.

Patrick Lussier is definitely the right choice to helm the 3-D resurrection; he has Dracula2000 to his credit and a nose for gore. So much so that (squeamish take note) heads are sheared apart by shovel and rib cages left open to give the coroner a head start on organ inventory. Oh and then there are the hearts delivered in candy boxes.

A decade after the initial carnage, a second round kicks off. Caught in the blood trail are former survivors Axel (Kerr Smith), who's now the sheriff, Tom (Jensen Ackles), the son of the mine owner, and their common love interest, Sarah (Jaime King). It's Scream before Scream, minus the deconstructive verve.

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