Greg Mitchell had a very nice piece in the trade magazine Editor & Publisher about how our mainstream media — an absolute disgrace throughout the Bush administration — is avoiding using the word “impeachment” concerning the Boy in the Bubble’s affronts to our freedom and global image.
Let’s take a quick peek at what this chimp-faced God-botherer has been up to since he took office: Invading Iraq on false pretenses; condoning torture and sending POWs to torture-friendly countries — via “extraordinary rendition” — so we can claim, “It didn’t happen here”; keeping people imprisoned without charge; illegally eavesdropping on American citizens; and generally making Joe Stalin look like the head of the American Civil Liberties Union.
Meanwhile, our supposed and soi-disant “investigative journalists” are more concerned about a white woman gone missing in Aruba and glossing over Samuel Alito, who could overturn Roe v. Wade. Step up, Katie Couric. The self-important bimbo may actually end up in CBS’ anchor chair because the network brought to the top by Edward R. Murrow wants an airhead celebrity-sucker to challenge Brian Williams, NBC’s talking hairdo.
Back to our story: Mitchell lays out the newspapers that had their knickers in an enormous twist, calling for Billary Clinton’s impeachment when he was caught getting BJs and shoving cigars into Monica Lewinsky’s tender buttons. While Billary is indeed a pig, murdering innocent civilians, torturing people without charging them, and lying day in and day out to US citizens might possibly be just a bit worse for all of us, and the foreign image of America. So here is a brief list of those highly moral papers that called for Clinton’s impeachment, but remain strangely silent about Bush travesties:
USA Today
The Mobile Register (AL)
Montgomery Advertiser
Tucson Citizen
San Jose Mercury News
The Denver Post
The Day of New London
The Tampa Tribune
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Chicago Tribune
The Indianapolis Star
The Des Moines Register
The Topeka Capital-Journal
The Times-Picayune of New Orleans
The News-Star (Monroe)
Detroit Free Press
The Herald-Sun of Durham (NC)
Winston-Salem Journal
The Cincinnati Enquirer
The Cincinnati Post
The Daily Oklahoman (Oklahoma City)
Tulsa World
The Philadelphia Inquirer
The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette
The State (Columbia, SC)
San Antonio Express-News
El Paso Times
Standard-Examiner (Ogden, UT)
The Salt Lake Tribune
Desert News (Salt Lake City)
Daily Press of Newport News (VA)
The Seattle Times
Where are these bastions of ethics and moral courage today? No doubt unable to speak out because their mouths are full of Dubya, “Big Time,” Rummy and Karl Rove’s wedding tackle. Good journalism, indeed.
CASINO BATTLE ROYALE
Don’t ask Casa Diablo fave Kathy “Faster, Pussycat, Kill, Kill” Gregg, the Urinal’s ace State House bureau chief, and Jan Jones, the former Las Vegas mayor who represents Harrah’s Entertainment, to the same party. Judging from an exchange at the Halitosis Hall news conference held by casino supporters on January 12, the fearsome and intrepid Ms. Gregg, and Ms. Jones, a bling-bling queen, are not exactly trading air kisses over the whole casino schlemiel.
And a quick word to historian-cum-waterfront developer Patrick Conley, who has received a $50,000 retainer from Harrah’s, in part for his help in drawing up a casino ballot question. Perhaps with that kind of money, you will be able to afford a more realistic rug. We’re getting into Pirraglia, Celona, and Shelton territory here, Patsy.
YAHWOL, HERR COMMANDANT!
Nice to see how the Germans have lightened up since being on the short end of two World Wars. P&J refer to a wire report informing us that 30,000 German federal police officers have received goose-stepping orders from on high about their appearance during this summer’s soccer World Cup, being hosted by Deutscheland.
Der Spiegel magazine says the new rules have said “nein” to “any hairstyle [that] could be seen as an expression of obvious individualist behavior.” Can you say “Hitler Youth,” boys and girls? Male officers with a full beard or mustache are ok, and female officers can wear small earrings and a “socially adequate” amount of makeup. Judging from the pictures we’ve seen of female German police officers, we hope “socially adequate” allows the use of a trowel.
Cue the Wagner music, please.
WHO DO THEY THINK THEY’RE FOOLING?
Like Richard Hatch, your superior correspondents could have sworn that CBS has been paying our taxes for the past few years, and, yes — as with “Rich” — the network has refused to return our calls about this. So what’s a person to do? Too bad Mr. Survivor didn’t share some of his income tax strategies with Vinny Paz, who also made a lot of money but somehow came up short. P&J surmise that if Hatch loses in court, it bodes ill for future US Supreme Court litigant Anna Nicole Smith. The rule of thumb here, according to Casa Diablo calculations, is that people who make a living performing in little or no clothing just can’t catch a break.
