RECEIVING MULTIPLE WRITE-INS: "I've got soul but I'm not a soldier" |
THE SONG: The Killers, "All These Things I've Done"
THE LYRIC: "I've got soul but I'm not a soldier"
THE VERDICT: That refrain just doesn't make sense. It's even worse when he repeats it ad infinitum.THE SONG: Crazytown, "Butterfly"
THE LYRIC: "Hey sugar momma, come and dance with me/The smartest thing you ever did was take a chance with me/So, what ever tickles your fancy/Girl it's you like Sid and Nancy"
THE VERDICT: "First, they probably wouldn't know a Sex Pistols' song if Johnny Lydon slapped them in the face. Second, these are truly the worst lyrics of all time. I win,” says reader ariesjenna.
THE SONG: Zager & Evans, "In the Year 2525"
THE LYRIC: "In the year 7510/If God's a-comin', he oughta make it by then/Maybe he'll look around himself and say/Guess it's time for the judgment day."
THE VERDICT: The song is insufferable as it is, but why change the "in the year X" formula for this line? At least stay consistent. (suggested by doxieman122)
THE SONG: Bloodrock, "DOA"
THE LYRIC: "Life is flowing out my body/Pain is flowing out with my blood/The sheets are red and moist where I'm lying/God in Heaven, teach me how to die"
THE VERDICT: Good times! (also suggested by doxieman 122)
THE SONG: R. Kelly, "Ignition (remix)"
THE LYRIC: "It's the remix to ignition/Hot and fresh out the kitchen/Mama rollin that body got every man in here wishin’/Sippin on coke and rum/I'm like so what I'm drunk/it's the freakin' weekend/Baby I'm about to have me some fun"
THE VERDICT: R. Kelly's lyrics, of course, are bad in the best way possible, like bad in a way that makes you scream at your friends in the car to bring their attention to them, which apparently really happened to our friend, the Waitress, who suggested we add this to our list: "I had been telling my friend Erin about its ridiculous lyrics for weeks. Then one fateful night I was driving her home and flipping through the stations when there it was. I almost deafened her when I screamed, ‘THIS IS IT!!!!!’ We laughed so hard listening to it."
THE SONG: Dan Hartman, "Fletch, Get Out of Town"
THE LYRIC: "Get outta town (get outta town)/Just get outta town/Go north to Alaska, east to Atlantic City, or south to Rio/Almost as far as you can go/Get outta town/Just rent a car (get outta town)/So they won't know where you are"
THE VERDICT: Why not include a possible western destination for poor Fletch? May we suggest Okinawa (depending on his point of origin)? It sings well. It’s as if Anthony Kiedis wrote this. (Suggested by cjb.)
THE SONG: Delbert McClinton, "Weatherman"
THE LYRIC: "If precipitation is drowning all your plans/just call information up, ask for the weatherman"
THE VERDICT: Harold Ramis wrote these lyrics, so we'll give ol' Delbert a pass here. Does Ramis know how much actual weathermen hate it when people ask them to "give us some sun this weekend" or things along those lines? More importantly, though, try googling the lyrics some time. What we quoted above might not even be correct, in which case, apologies to messrs. Ramis and McClinton. (Suggested by, uh, Ryan Stewart!)
THE SONG: Van Halen, "Summer Nights"
THE LYRIC: "Just hangin' 'round the local parking lot/Checkin' out the girls see what they got / Yea they love it when me and the boys/Start playin' love with them human toys/Yea we just wind 'em up and let 'em go, oh yea."
THE VERDICT: Jaw-dropping misogyny. Wow. (Suggested by ColonelTom.)
THE SONG: Red Hot Chili Peppers, "Around the World"
THE LYRIC: "I know, I know, for sure/ding ding dang ding ding ding don ding don dang"
THE VERDICT: Reader Spradlinnn' speculates on the band's mindset: "Funny cause their attitude is probably 'That's great! Just leave that, don't even try to come up with another stanza!'" The Chili Peppers are another band that are notorious for their lyrical atrocities. This is just the most obvious and reader-suggested option we could find for the moment.
THE SONG: Starship, "We Built This City"
THE LYRIC: "Someone always playing corporation games/Who cares they’re always changing corporation names/We just want to dance here someone stole the stage/They call us irresponsible write us off the page"
THE VERDICT: You fight the power, Starship, you glorious rebels you! (Suggested by music editor Matt Ashare, seconded by smellface, who, for all we know, is actually Matt Ashare.)
THE SONG: Destiny's Child, "Bills, Bills, Bills"
THE LYRIC: "Can you pay my bills?/Can you pay my telephone bills?/Can you pay my automo' bills?/Then maybe we can chill/I don't think you do/so you and me are through"
THE VERDICT: Reader Tnicholes was surprised there was no Destiny's Child among our set of nominess, so here it is. Just one year later, they'd change their tune with "Independent Women." But still . . . was that how women saw men back in 1999? Were Destiny's Child simply reflecting the zeitgeist?
THE SONG: Captain and Tennille, "Muskrat Love"
THE LYRIC: "Muskrat Susie/Muskrat Sam/Do the jitterbug out in muskrat land/And they shimmy/And Sammy's so skinny"
THE VERDICT: Another one that's mentioned in just about every one of these lyric lists. With good cause. The suggestion was made by Judy.
