For the skeptical among us, Legion clarifies some points of faith. What are angel wings made of? Why, bulletproof titanium with razor-sharp tips to slice open the entrails of sinners. Where will the Rapture take place? At a greasy spoon in Paradise Falls, New Mexico, lorded over by a coot played by Dennis Quaid.
Scott Stewart (he's worked on visual effects since Mars Attacks!) makes his directing debut, and he has the brash Brit Paul Bettany playing the Archangel Michael, who strives to preserve the second coming of Christ, the child of a waitress (Adrianne Palicki). God, however, is "fed up with all the bullshit," so He smites us with flies and mutated humans, forcing Michael and his band of stereotypes to camp out and fend off everyone from ice-cream men to demonic grandmas.
A love story and a quest for faith gurgle in the background, but it all fades to exploding stomachs and the Archangel Gabriel's chainsaw.
Editor's Note: In a previous version of this article, we incorrectly stated that Scott Stewart worked on the visual effects for Blade Runner (1982 version). He did not, but he did work on the effects for Mars Attacks! The correction has been made above.