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Best of Portland 2009

Big 12 Conference

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Wideouts gone wild

Lock the liquor cabinet and hide the keys — it's that time of year again
Late February is a heavy-arrest period in American sports, for the simple reason that the college-football season is over, spring practices have not yet begun, and they have not yet deployed armed alcohol-sniffing police robots on college campuses around the nation.
By MATT TAIBBI  |  February 18, 2009
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Blount's blunts

Sports blotter: "Gone to pot" edition
Let’s just say it’s been a while since we’ve seen a pound-worthy entry to the annals of pot busts, as we did this week.
By MATT TAIBBI  |  December 19, 2008
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Astro naught

Sports blotter: "More trouble for the Clemens family" edition
Always a darned shame when we hear that the Clemens family has fallen on hard times.
By MATT TAIBBI  |  September 10, 2008
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Rooney doesn't rule

Sports blotter: "Pardon my French, but you're an asshole" edition
Funny, funny stuff coming from Pittsburgh — a relief, actually, to see some other city’s storied NFL franchise balls-deep in an ethical nightmare.
By MATT TAIBBI  |  March 26, 2008
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Young people doing stupid things

Sports blotter: "Carrying a gun to a track meet" edition
“This isn’t fixin’ to stop me,” crowed a defiant Josh Jarboe.
By MATT TAIBBI  |  March 19, 2008
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We're not going to talk about it

Sports blotter: "Super Bowl? What Super Bowl?" edition
We start off this week with a crime that occurred some place other than Arizona, a/k/a the place we do not mention, where the sports tragedy that did not happen did not take place.
By MATT TAIBBI  |  February 06, 2008
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Return of the Pac

Sports blotter: "Never coming back to the NFL at this rate" edition
The sad thing about Adam “Pacman” Jones is that we won’t have him to kick around in columns like this much longer.
By MATT TAIBBI  |  January 23, 2008
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Bronx bum

Sports blotter: "Hero to zero" edition
Man, there sure must have been some serious drinking going down on those great Yankee teams of the 1990s.
By MATT TAIBBI  |  January 09, 2008
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Do mess with Texas

Sports blotter: "Houston has a problem" edition
The Houston Texans are like the soy cheese of the sporting world.
By MATT TAIBBI  |  December 05, 2007
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Surely you can't be serious

Sports blotter: "Don't call me Shirley!" edition
Early nomination for collegiate crime-dweeb of the year goes to Fresno State defensive lineman Jason Shirley.
By MATT TAIBBI  |  October 17, 2007
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Texas two-step

Sports blotter: "Horns hooked" edition
The Texas Longhorns have been a real gift to the sports-crime-reporting industry of late.
By MATT TAIBBI  |  September 19, 2007
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True Wizardry

Sports blotter: "Puts up a brick!" edition
Question: what do you do when your team decides to offer you, a mere 20 year old, $12.5 million over five years?
By MATT TAIBBI  |  August 08, 2007
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Too high

Sports blotter: "T-High" edition
One wonders, at times, if there is some kind of Norse God of sports crime.
By MATT TAIBBI  |  July 25, 2007
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Texas trouble

Sports blotter: "When's he going to talk about Michael Vick?" edition
Some college-football positions just seem to be cursed, arrest-wise.
By MATT TAIBBI  |  June 06, 2007
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Pimping ain't easy

Sports blotter: "Hard out there for a pimp" edition
The funniest thing, of course, is that, in college, he played for a team called the Beavers .
By MATT TAIBBI  |  May 16, 2007
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Oh ... uh, wow ... thanks?

The Internet is a vast trove of very strange gifts
Once upon a time, not all that long ago, holiday shopping was a fairly straightforward enterprise.
By MIKE MILIARD  |  December 07, 2006
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Texas two-step

URI stages a wholesome Whorehouse
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas, the late ’70s musical getting an entertaining staging at URI Theatre, is quite a curious little time capsule.
By BILL RODRIGUEZ  |  December 05, 2006
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Pre-NFL Draft arrest watch

Updating the big board
Get ready, Phoenix readers, for the dad-gum funnest week of the sports-crime year!
By MATT TAIBBI  |  April 12, 2006

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