Family affair
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
We recently had a picnic/family reunion, and my 15-year-old son seemed to be spending a lot of time with his 14-year-old first cousin from out of state. Their interest in each other was so obvious that my 80ish uncle approached me and told me about the horrors that can occur when cousins marry. Is this “genetic defects/inbreeding” thing just an old wives’ tale, or is there something to it? Should I actively discourage these two cousins from seeing each other?
_L.T.
Dear L.T.,
Not being a geneticist, biologist, or a scientist of any sort, Dr. Lovemonkey can only tell you that in cultures in which there is a long history of inbreeding (Iceland comes to mind), the mating of first cousins can be dicey. Around the US of A, not so much. More to the point, your scenario is hardly something for you or your uncle about which to get your panties in a bunch. Who the hell are teenagers at a family picnic going to hang with? You and your uncle? You already have them running off to a Vegas wedding chapel, or at the very least, copulating like rabid dogs. Get your imagination under control. This sounds like kids acting like kids, and you shouldn’t be concerned about the imminent arrival of a three-headed grandchild.
Around the block
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
I am a 26-year-old woman and got married four months ago. My husband and I have known each other for almost five years. I dearly love him, but I have a problem: I am extremely jealous about his previous relationships. He lived with one former girlfriend for almost two years, and had an equally longstanding relationship with another woman (well, girl, at the time). While he is a wonderful person, I keep getting the sense that he has done the things before that I would like to do with him for the first time. I just can’t seem to get over this. Do you have any suggestions?
_Frustrated But In Love
Dear Frustrated,
The past is the past, and absolutely everyone has a past. It’s destructive to be so obsessed with something about which you can do absolutely nothing. Another thing to ponder is how these experiences with other women are part of what made your husband the good person he is. All is well, and you need to focus on the good guy that you have married.
Speaking in tongues
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
A very old friend (formerly a very close friend) in the past year has become a convert to a religious sect. Whenever I see her, she talks up her religious fervor and tries to suck me in. I really don’t like being lectured, but I don’t know how to gracefully get my friend off of my back without hurting her feelings. What say you?
_Steve
Dear Steve,
Tell your friend that you just don’t see eye to eye on this, and ask her if she’d be willing to not bring up the subject of spirituality with you. I suspect that a recent convert will find this impossible to do, however. Sorry.
Send questions and romantic quandaries torudycheeks@verizon.net.
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