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Dr Love Monkey

Ties that bind

Ties that bind
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
I’ve been seeing this guy for almost six months, but I’m starting to suspect that he just might be “Mr. Wrong.” I have discovered that a big relationship he had a couple of years ago ended badly when she left him. He claims that he has gotten past this, but any number of things say otherwise. He gets agitated and sometimes sad when he discusses this earlier relationship. Sometimes he reacts strangely to songs that have (even a tenuous) thematic connection to his old relationship. Okay, maybe that last part I’m imagining, but I don’t think so. Also, I encour-aged him to throw away a gift that she had given him, but, instead, he insisted that I take it. Am I wrong to suspect that he still pines for this past love, and what can I do about it?
_E.K. in South County

Dear E.K.,
It sounds to Dr. Lovemonkey like you are on target. The signs indicate he has not (and may not be trying too hard to) come to a resolution about this past relationship. All you can do is back off. Until he actually makes a decision and does something about “moving on,” your relationship will remain in limbo. Slow things down considerably.

What a nut
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
I’ve got a neighbor who lives in the apartment next door who regularly feeds peanuts to a squirrel. I care about animals — I’m actually a vegetarian — and go out of my way not to squash spiders, bees, and other potentially harmful insects, and instead scoop them out of the room. But I have a dog, and my dog wants to mess with the squirrel. In fact, I am quite certain my dog would like to consume the squirrel. The squirrel has become way too comfortable with humans due to my neighbor’s feeding regimen; I have had to toss water or chase the squirrel away when I walk my dog, and my neighbor has given me some dirty looks. I have tried to explain the situation and the danger to my neighbor, but it doesn’t seem to register with her that something bad could happen, and that she should stop the squirrel-feeding. By the way, the squirrel is starting to gain a bit of weight and is less capable of defending itself, not just from my dog but against any other canine in the area. What can I do?
_Jerry

Dear Jerry,
Get together with the Squirrel Lady and talk to her about nature. She undoubtedly is unaware that she is endangering her friend, the squirrel, making the creature vulnerable to attack by fattening him/her up. One would hope that she’d understand this and also the situation with your dog. If she does not want to hear it, you’ll probably have to con-tinue to toss water and chase the squirrel off for its own safety. There’s only so much you can do.

Noxious talk
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
I went out with a man for a couple of years, and although we split up, we are not “enemies” in any way. I have some friends, however, who make a point of badmouthing him regularly. Is there a way I can get them to stop, because I find this unfair and poisonous?
_LL in Providence

Dear LL,
Just tell them, “Excuse me, you are talking about a man I care about!” — and say it with some urgency. That’ll teach ’em.

Send questions and romantic quandaries to rudycheeks@verzion.net.

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