Jung at heart

Tool at the Orpheum
May 25, 2006 12:14:24 PM


Tool are playing “Stinkfist,” and Maynard Keenan is channeling Robert Duvall: the bare chest, the mirror shades, the ten-gallon hat, the rigid insane confidence. Standing in front of the blossoming AV screens he is Col. Kilgore on the beach in Apocalypse Now, an apparition of stolid derangement, now and again accenting a particularly colossal time-change with a slow-motion karate kick. Mmmmm. He loves the smell of the Orpheum in the evening. Smells like . . . wet dogs.

No offense to the fellow spotted outside in the rain, peeling hundred-dollar bills into the palm of a drooling scalper; or to the first ten rows inside, roaring hosannas for an hour before the band came on; or to the girl in front of me, whose ecstatically tossed hair was thrashing my nose in shampoo-scented flourishes all through the show; but Tool’s performance Sunday night at the Orpheum was ­ — on the Tool scale ­ — only about a B plus. It’s no one’s fault, they played their asses off, but Tool are now operating at such a level of excellence that anything less than forked lightning up the spinal column registers as an anti-climax. As a friend put it to me afterwards: “I was waiting all night for that Tool note, that moment, that thing that only they can hit, and it just . . . didn’t happen.”

So ­just your average mindblow, then. Guitarist Adam Jones, as long and forlorn in aspect as an El Greco painting, doesn’t move. Keenan moves only minimally ­— a serpentine shift of the neck or hips, to realign the energy around him. He takes off his hat and teases up his mohawk into little plumes. Justin Chancellor, spraying weepy noises from his bass like Bootsy Collins in mourning, shoots searching, unrequited gazes at drummer Danny Carey. And Carey . . . bloody hell. Seated on his drum stool in his red-and-blue Clippers shirt, he is almost as tall as Keenan, who stands next to him on the riser. He’s not the most soulful of super-duper drummers; he’s not, say, John Bonham, identifiable by the simple lilt of his hi-hat; but for invention, power, and sheer octopoidal proficiency he cannot at this moment be touched.

The LSD psychosis suite from the new record 10,000 Days was played in full: the shimmering, howling instrumental “Lost Keys” followed by the electrified blurt of “Rosetta Stoned,” with Keenan gibbering into a CB mike­: “Holy fucking shit! Holy fucking shit!” Holy fucking shit is right: it seems almost banal, at this point, to observe that Tool are a platinum-selling, nation-conquering band who preach an antinomian filth-gospel of darkness and revelation. No cheesy decadence here, no posturing, just 2,800 people bellowing “My shadow! Change is coming through my shadow!” Take that, Carl Jung.

I would have to say that I completely disagree. I thought the show was amazing, and the energy was great. It was a little short, but otherwise the sound was awesome, and Maynard moved enough considering he had been sick for a while. I'm not trying to justify them doing a poor job, because the show was certainly not lacking. The band was as always:Astounding.

POSTED BY Stephanie AT 05/25/06 11:10 AM
Maynard Keenan is a fucking asshole! I have come to the sickening realization that he has no respect or adoration for the people who adore him. No real interviews,no photo's no blogs and no attempt to personally affect the life of even one true fan who thinks the world of his unintelligable,illogical and often times nonsensible lyrics. Although his lyrics have grown better over the years so has grown his ego and Im just about sick of this cocky motherfucker. He HAS NO RESPECT FOR HIS OWN BANDMATES. He cheated on them and made them sit idle for years so he could dick around with gay ass APC. Thanks for shitting on us with those albums Herbert(maynards real name). Now adam is telling MTV when asked why it took so long to release a new album that they needed to wait this long because they need life experiences to have things to write about..I understand Adam has to say something to the press to keep from telling the truth that Maynard Herbert" Keenan is just a fucking Dick and that the rest of the band was ready 2 1/2 years ago and that Maynard is an ego driven tyrant who made his own brothers in the band ,the same guys who rescued him from the shit music he was making with those shit bands C.A.D and TexAns wonder whether tool was ever going together again. He also stated that he was suprised that the album did so well,Dont be surprised Adam we bought the albums because you guys were talking to us on myspace not maynard,it was you guys who kept us abreast of the progress and kept us anticipating your music,it was you guys who stopped to shake hands,took pictures and shared them with us online. Maynard did dick,zip,nothing,nada so dont be surprised that your album is almost double was all you and not that disguise wearing half of bitch that sings in your band. If he pulls that again just"sytematically remove him like you would any termite or roach! If you made all instrumentals we would still buy the album. Herbert is the least important part of the group. The music is unique not your voice asshole. The worse thing is that in the fall when the arena tour is supposed to start Mr. Lawnmower man has to be back in Arizona for a month so he can "personally" supervise his little bullshit Vinyard once again leaving his bandmates in limbo,fuck the fans but what about your bandmates dickhead? Grow some fucking good weed in the "vine yard" bitch. Your going to get crushed buy the real vinyards in Sedonia AZ. if you attempt to sell that shit. Id rather drink vodka anyway asshole. Herbert tells us to think for yourself,worship nothing and dont follow anyone,essentially to be real. All coming from a guy from Ravenna Ohio (never heard of it), changed his name from one dumb name (herbert) to another even dumber name,sings in a dark corner of the stage so we cant see his 42 year old face and where's a disuise in public. Take off that fucking wig and stop being a little bitch or else go back to stand up comedy you bill hicks wannabe fag. Those silly lead in jokes you used to try and set up your songs didnt work in the Boston show. "uh uh the internet,uhuh its like something you can actually be on UhUh" "(ok beavis) uh the internet said i was sick and i couldnt perform these songs because im not a good singer but ill try tonight uhuh then into the pot.. Bitch please.. Nobody could ever say that your not a good singer they just said your were sick and couldnt perform the songs in NYC and that it was disapointing not to hear that song. It wasnt an attack on your talent jerkoff. We know your talented. If it wasnt true get your head out of your ass and respond to the rumors or Just stay off the internet and you wont get offended when you read your reviews.. Dont get me wrong people Im sooo OGT and will be reviewing each and every show until Fucko goes back to AZ to tend to his gay grape vines..but its time someone put this motherfucker in his place,the ass kissing and adoration is making me throw up in my mouth a little. Maynard doesnt care about white people(lol). He couldnt care less that we wait anxiously for years for him to feel like being in the band again. He shits on us and his bandmates and were to awestruck by his voice to feel it running down our cheeks. Maynard I like you but Fuck you,I love your voice but fuck you! your albums and shows takes us to a place that we could never go with any other band and we appreciate you for that..but fuck You! Youll remember how you treated your fans when your 47 years old and barefoot crushing grapes ,no bandmates, no fans just a fat hooker with a penis You must have been sooo high! You learn to swim now Motherfucker! OGT

POSTED BY ogt AT 05/25/06 11:45 AM
Wow! What an angry little person you are. Why the hell do you feel Maynard or any band member or artist owes you anything? The point here is they are artists. They provide music. Not interviews...not glimpses of their personal lives, not personal responses to your emails. Stop stalking them on Myspace. As a long time fan, I could care less that Maynard doesn't give interviews or that he stands in the corner. He's 25% of the band. Maybe, just maybe thats his way of giving props to the other three. Maybe, he avoids the spotlight so much because he's aware how much the lead singer can totally overshadow the rest of the artists in the band who contribute equally. If I'm correct, then I find that admirable - he knows his place and that makes me like the guy even more. I saw the concert in Tempe a few weeks ago, I enjoyed every minute of watching all four of them. I personally just don't care that he's not out front attempting to sing to the crowd stealing the spotlight. Good music takes a long time to make. 10K days will last me a few years and I find it comforting to know that they take their time and really invest everything to every album rather than just regurgitating the same crap every 18 months for the paycheck. Because of this ALL FOUR OF THEM have side projects. Maynards happens to be another successful band. Take Maynard out of Tool and there is no Tool. You need to stop idolizing these people and go get a life. They don't owe you anything. Go take an English class.

POSTED BY Emily AT 05/25/06 1:46 PM
Maynard wouldnt piss on you if you were on fire,stop sucking his cock you dumb fuck..

POSTED BY ogt AT 05/28/06 10:15 PM
Obfuriouscioscly you are dick eating dork loaded wannabe! Why don't you get the honkey cream out of those gills!

POSTED BY Timovenging AT 06/10/06 1:34 AM
Although I wasn't at this show I must commend you on an excellent review, James Parker, for it would have suited their performance at the Hammersmith Apollo in London (UK) perfectly as well. Also, ogt has the right of it and it would do many Tool fans good to heed what he is saying.

POSTED BY Predator AT 08/03/06 8:46 AM

Login to add comments to this article


Register Now  |   Lost password






Copyright © 2007 The Phoenix Media/Communications Group