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Let them eat car

Poor kids lose child-care while legislative leaders ride in comfort  
September 5, 2007 3:56:32 PM

The lovely ladies at the Urinal’s “Political Scene” column, Kathy “Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!” Gregg and Elizabeth Gudrais, make a very sharp point in their column earlier this week. They ask whether it might be not just ostentatious, but very insulting and irresponsible, for the state to pay for two new SUVs (cost: $1636 per month), so that House Speaker Bill Murphy and Senate President Joe Montalbano have access to comfortable rides, while “thousands of young people are being tossed off state-subsidized child care or removed from the Department of Children, Youth and Families to save money.”
 
It should be noted that the vehicles in question are spanking, brandy new four-door Ford Explorers of the “Eddie Bauer” line (using an environmentally friendly 15-21 miles per gallon). This is at the high end of the Explorer line, since, of course, our legislative leaders need all the accompanying bells and whistles to which Messrs. Murphy and Montalbano want to be accustomed. What is the obvious message to the kids who got the boot from desperately needed social services? “Fuck off, you don’t vote.”
 
This is just another unfortunate example in The Biggest Little of politicians who are not just greedy, but absolutely tone deaf when it comes to the real needs of the public, and of what issues should ring most loudly and clearly for any member of the General Assembly, never mind its leadership.
 
Appearances and perceptions are indeed everything, and if our august friends of West Warwick, really wanted to promote the common weal, they would be driving their own cars to work. Instead, our boys are farting on leather seats. Nice.

Call me irresponsible
Phillipe + Jorge’s longtime buddy, the lovely Pogey Princess, became dumbfounded (or began laughing hysterically, your choice) when she encountered the following instructions at a local Bank of America drive-thru ATM:
 
“To request Braille or audio ATM instructions, call . . . ”
 
OK, let’s back this bad boy up for some serious examination and application of logic. While we appreciate the effort to ease the use of the ATM for our unsighted friends (disclosure: Jorge is the director of radio for In-Sight, a nonprofit that serves blind and visually impaired Rhode Islanders, and he had no hand in crafting this particular item), how many blind people are behind the wheel of a car that will pull into that ATM?
 
And shouldn’t we be told, at least as a basic forewarning, to be extra alert when out on the highway? (At least they aren’t bothered when some typical Vo Dilun driver fails to use his turn signal.)
 
Then we have the extremely original concept of a person who cannot hear making a phone call to receive instructions. How do the Bank of America operators spend their days? Shouting “Who is this?” with no reply, or “Can you hear me now?” ad infinitum into their phones? Reach out and scream at someone, indeed.
 
No wonder Bank of America is fleecing us at their ATMs by charging a fee for non-BoA members. It must be needed for those hefty salaries they pay the geniuses who came up with this signage.

Straight outta Pawtucket
Your superior correspondents happened to be talking on the phone a couple of weeks ago with Lou Schwechheimer, the GM/vice president of the Pawtucket Red Sox, thanking him for a favor he had done P&J when we mentioned how impressed we were with the game pitched by Clay Buchholz (whom we kept referring to as “the Kid,” since we long ago lost our short-term memories) against the LA Angels in his Major League debut a few weeks back. “He’s the real thing,” Lou noted. 
 
Jump ahead a bit and here’s Buchholz tossing a no-hitter Saturday night, in only his second big league start, electrifying the Fenway faithful with the biggest thrill of the season (the only thing vaguely close was the Mother’s Day come-from-way-behind victory, also against the Orioles).
 
More satisfying than the memorable once-in-lifetime no-hitter is the sense one has had all year of a first-rate Boston farm system, the pinnacle of which is right here in Pawtucket.
 
Just look at the gang from straight outta Pawtucket this year: scrappy Dustin Pedroia, kicking ass at the plate and in the field virtually all season long (a tip of the sombrero to Tito, who stuck with Petey when things looked grim for the rookie); speedy Jacoby Ellsbury, who’s been banging the ball, running like a deer, and making some great catches; and Brandon Moss, who’s also looked good.
 
When you consider that Jon Lester, Jonathan Papelbon, and Kevin Youkilis were also playing in “the Bucket” just a couple of years back, you realize what a great job the folks in Pawtucket (in the entire BoSox farm system, really) are doing in terms of talent development, churning out the stars of the future. So the PawSox ain’t kidding when they beseech you to come to McCoy and see the “stars of the future today.”
 
The coolest thing about the young (23 years old) Mr. Buchholz is how, rather than looking like his namesake, the late, not-so-great German film star, Horst (the James Dean of Germany) Buchholz, Clay bears a striking resemblance to American indie-film icon Steve Buscemi.
 
We urge young Clay to check out Buscemi’s directorial debut, Trees Lounge, in case he’s ever tempted to give up being a multi-millionaire pitching star for driving an ice cream truck in a rapidly dying small town.


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