Which New Year’s resolution are you going to fuck up first?
Only dating men over 18 years old. Already changed that to over 21 years old so they can buy me a drink.
A meteor hit the earth and wiped out the entire population, except for you and the 2008 presidential hopefuls. You know what I’m going to ask. Come on. Repopulation depends on you.
Even though Hillary Clinton is more of a man than anyone else in the race, I would choose John Edwards, since he has powerful sperm and psychic abilities to cross over and talk to all the dead people.
Dick Clark: robot or alien?
Or pioneer. I believe that Dick Clark was the first ever plastic-surgery patient in the United States, back in the early 1800s.
What’s your position on positions?
Experiment, experiment, experiment, baby!
SUSAN ALEXANDER | “5 Funny Females” at the Midway Café, Jamaica Plain | January 26 at 8 pm | $15 | 617.524.9038 or