What [attendees of the International Consumer Electronics Show] might not have expected — and what they clearly relished — was a self-deprecating farewell video in which [Bill] Gates mocked the idea that he would desperately cast about for things to do after retiring as Microsoft’s chief software architect this July.
It showed a giddy Gates rapping, trying to lift weights, pleading for a spot in U2, and lobbying for a place on a presidential ticket. The video’s cameo appearances from the likes of Brian Williams, Jay-Z, Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, Al Gore, Jon Stewart, Steven Spielberg, and George Clooney provoked uproarious laughter — not a common occurrence at a tech conference.
— Associated Press
Should any of those jobs fall through, here are some others Mr. Gates could pursue.
• Britney babydaddy.
• The “I’m a PC” guy in those Mac commercials.
• Roadside squeegee man. (He’s got lots of experience removing bugs from Windows.)
• Voice of Kermit the Frog.
• President of Pakistan. (Maybe the restrictive lockdown technology used for the Zune’s digital-rights management could keep those nukes safe?)
• A Silvan Elf of Mirkwood in Peter Jackson’s new Hobbit movie.
• Best. Desktop support geek. Ever.
• Professional Evil Genius. (Wait, scratch that. He’s been doing that for the past 30 years.)
• Supercuts spokesmodel.
• The guy’s worth $56 billion. He can probably afford to coast for a while.