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Barack Obama is @#$% tired of this @#$%!

 

(Or, a NSFW plan to ram the stimulus bill home, told via downloadable mp3 ring tones.)

In his bestselling autobiography, Dreams From My Father, President Obama introduces us to his high school friend, “Ray,” who, like him, is bi-racial. Who, also like him, is casting about to find his place in the world. But, who, unlike him, has a potty mouth that would make a sailor blush.


Best of all? When reading the audiobook version of his bio, Obama does impressions of Ray’s manner of speech. Swear words and all. It’s fucking awesome. And it’s a way of talking we probably won’t be hearing from him now that he’s POTUS.


Or will we?


In case you haven’t heard, it’s becoming clearer by the day that Obama is losing the communication war, and ceding this stimulus battle to the GOP. (It that article doesn’t get the point across, read this one too.)


He’s starting to amp up the rhetoric. But it’s not enough
.

It’s time to stop this mealy-mouthed stuff about bipartisanship altogether. It’s pointless. Those flat-earth neanderthals are just gonna throw it back in his face.


No, it’s time for Obama to lay it all out on the table.


Time to start talking tough.


What’s he got to be afraid of? Rush Limbaugh?

Fuck no! Say it loud!


You know that guy ain’t shit. Sorry-ass motherfucker ain’t got nothing on me.” (MP3)

So let’s roll up our sleeves and cut to the chase.

Sure, it’s a complicated bill. But all these revisions and amendments and cuts and counterproposals and compromises? Ridiculous. Enough’s enough.

It’s time for the Prez to say it plain:

This shit’s getting way too complicated for me.” (MP3)

Spending. Spending, spending, spending then more spending. Simple as that. Let’s stimulate this shit.

There’s opposition, of course. But next time guys like John Boehner or Mitch McConnell try to pull that obstructionist crap, or make the ludicrous claim that all we need to pull this economy out of its nosedive is a slew of new tax cuts, Obama should have no compunction about telling the truth to their faces:

There are white folks, and then there are ignorant motherfuckers like you.” (MP3)

Intense negotiations can make for a hefty appetite. So, sure, let’s take a break for lunch.

But if someone like that lunatic Rep. Walter B. Jones  — co-perpetrator of what may be the nadir of this great nation’s long history: “Freedom Fries” — tries get too grabby, he’ll soon find out he’s got another thing coming.

You ain’t my bitch, nigga! Buy your own damn fries!” (MP3)

Prediction: reconvening for an afternoon bargaining sessions after that postpartisan repast, the Republicans will find themselves chastened by this new, utterly unexpected foul-mouthed assertiveness. The GOP will fall in line.

In fact, some will be so smitten with Obama's take-no-prisoners stylee, one so atypical of normally weak-willed Dems, that they’ll wanna hang out with him. You just watch: even Jim DeMint will want the secret digits to his BlackBerry.

After thinking for a moment, the president will indulge him.

Sure you can have my number, baby!” (MP3)

And then, with the economy saved and the world grateful for it, it’ll be time for Obama the conquering hero to hit the town with his enforcer Michelle, wading his way through the adoring throngs.

Blam!” (MP3)


| More

76 Comments

  • blakerbabe said:

    I love this! Thank you for posting.

    February 6, 2009 12:00 AM
  • Roland Cailles said:

    Yeah, I don't know that a profanity laced tirade is the way to go.

    Still, that shit would be funny as hell. Like, for real, funny. :)

    February 6, 2009 7:43 AM
  • coxy said:

    OMG. Awesome. Right Click > Save As.

    February 6, 2009 9:53 AM
  • CrusaderPatriot said:

    Typical Democrat f-ing idiots! You're all bunch of blind zombies!

    February 6, 2009 11:24 AM
  • Armando said:

    A huge pile of SH#t - aka Obama's stimulus paln

    February 6, 2009 11:31 AM
  • Clayton in Mississippi said:

    I can play all of your posted MP3 links EXCEPT

    “This shit’s getting way too complicated for me.” (MP3)

    and

    “Sure you can have my number, baby!” (MP3)

    I get a Windows Media Player Error on those two only.

    February 6, 2009 11:41 AM
  • gm said:

    window media player sucks that's why. get a real media player and your own damn fries.

    February 6, 2009 12:24 PM
  • Search Engine Snark said:

    Here are a TON of sound cips of him saying gawdawful things as part of the audiobook recording...

    //obamasoundoff.com/

    February 6, 2009 1:06 PM
  • Jay said:

    Here's a youtube with all the sounds:

    www.youtube.com/watch

    February 6, 2009 2:16 PM
  • jul said:

    Someone needs to send this to Sean Hannity and Rush...it's a gift...!!!

    Thanks for posting...now the real Barry bursts out of Barack's 'man-boobs' chest like Alien...

    February 6, 2009 3:50 PM
  • Frankie the Ballbreaker said:

    Learn how to write. This is gibberish.

    February 6, 2009 4:21 PM
  • youtube masher said:

    Obama Mashup@

    www.youtube.com/watch

    February 6, 2009 11:07 PM
  • livejelly said:

    this is awesome thanks for putting it up

    February 6, 2009 11:32 PM
  • Boston Knucklehead said:

    I personally think the stimulus will be a short term fix. Let all the banks crumble to the ground and give aid to all the little banks that are strong and they will grow with great morals. All these banks now will do is give out bonuses and throw parties.

    February 7, 2009 9:26 AM
  • gerard pawling said:

    he also said when asked about jerri curl that he never purchased it but had borrowed some from his ex

    February 7, 2009 12:32 PM
  • bestremixer2009 said:

    the techno remix!!!

    --->

    www.youtube.com/watch

    February 7, 2009 9:43 PM
  • Risydesty said:

    exciting and communicative, but would be suffering with something more on this topic?

    February 10, 2009 11:34 PM
  • Diddy said:

    Funny clips...you, however, are a retard!

    February 13, 2009 10:53 AM
  • videomixalot said:

    Made a video with these clips.  Like to hear it?  Here it go: www.youtube.com/watch

    February 15, 2009 7:56 AM
  • John said:

    Thank you for making sense! I agree completely with the bipartisanship. It's not unimportant in my opinion, but in crisis mode, he's got to do what he's got to do with or without republican support.

    February 16, 2009 2:00 AM
  • Tawlaffigumma said:

    Your are Great. And so is your site! Awesome content. Good job guys! Interesting article, adding it to my favourites!

    February 16, 2009 11:55 PM
  • acassykeF said:

    <a href=mywp.byethost33.com/>World News</a>

    February 17, 2009 10:05 PM
  • blimp said:

    What would be awesome is to hear him say the bit from Katt Williams Pimp Chronicles:

    "This shit right here nigga, this shit right here nigga, right here this shit nigga, this is called deaf!"

    February 25, 2009 7:03 AM
  • rick said:

    Boack Abama is SHIT, he doesnt even know how many states we have, what a loser

    March 12, 2009 3:51 AM
  • MadDogAero said:

    <a href=217dade2ab7db91d12f1bca7b0cd4c82.negoro.gedostok.augustow.pl/> oster dog clippers discount</a>  oster dog clippers discount

    May 27, 2009 7:10 AM
  • TheMaddBlogger said:

    You gotta hear what someone did with that... www.zshare.net/.../6081119998a2353a

    June 1, 2009 7:11 PM
  • SmagmaSmoow said:

    Right!

    Straight looking for you beloved!

    July 17, 2009 3:45 PM
  • LnddMiles said:

    Great post! I’ll subscribe right now wth my feedreader software!

    July 21, 2009 1:13 PM

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