Gabriele Muccino's misogynistic family sports film stars Gerard Butler as has-been Scottish footie star George Dryer, a man who once "got more ass than a toilet seat," according to screenwriter Robbie Fox, who bends it like Beckham to present George as the willing victim of oversexed soccer moms making advances toward their kids' new coach. Pity poor Judy Greer, Uma Thurman, and Catherine Zeta-Jones, who play, respectively, the pity fuck, the boozy trophy wife, and the former sportscaster who can help George land a commentator gig at ESPN. Alas, this third-act conflict would take him away from the ex (Jessica Biel) and young son (Noah Lomax) he's hoping to win back. Fox hasn't penned a script since 1993's So I Married an Axe Murderer, and he apparently hasn't left his home, either, as made evident by his belief that kids still go to arcades, answering machines are still in use, and land lines are the way to contact women without sad-sack fiancés finding out.