We asked, you answered: our readers text in votes for Sarah Palin's next baby name
By LANCE GOULD | September 23, 2008
Gwyneth had Apple. Posh had Brooklyn. And moose-killing miracle mom Sarah Palin beat them all with Trig Paxson Van Palin, a name so cool that it rhymes with “Eddie Van Halen.”Trig, her fifth, was conceived and delivered while Palin was Alaska’s chief executive. And, in that the coolest state’s condom-eschewing hottest governor is still relatively young, one presumes she’s just getting started! If she moves into the vice-presidential manse at Number One Observatory Circle, or later, as President Palin, gets it on with the so-called First Dude in the Lincoln Bedroom, we fully expect this Russia-watching, Bush-doctrine scholar to be even more fruitful. (She may be a wacky, science-fearing creationist, but she must approve of math, because this lady sure can multiply!)
The children she’s already birthed have quaint, zany names — Track! Bristol! Willow! Piper! — that reflect her can-do, frontier spirit. And yes, there's already a web meme devoted to generating what your name would be if you'd been birthed by Sarah. But that's just artificial intelligence: we knew humans could do better. So we left it up to our readers to text in suggested names for Sarah Palin’s inevitable next baby. Herewith, our favorite 15. (Governor Palin: feel free to clip and save this list in case your offspring production reaches double digits.)
Editors’ favorite names for Sarah Palin’s inevitable next baby, among nominees texted in by Boston Phoenix readers:
15) Chaniqua
14) Cessna
13) Brig
12) Chastity
11) Hive
10) Sable
9) Scar
8) Pedro
7) Ripple
6) Birch
5) Joba
4) Burn
3) Thumper
2) Beyoncé
1) Trout
Related:
Is John McCain crazy?, Review: The Fourth Kind, Review: Outlander, More
- Is John McCain crazy?
There is something not quite right about John McCain.
- Review: The Fourth Kind
If the “actual footage” used in this film is real, then there’s something going on up in Alaska even more frightening than the rise of Sarah Palin.
- Review: Outlander
One can only imagine writer/director Howard McCain on vacation at a Norwegian fjord and gazing up into the starry night and hatching this brilliant idea: Beowulf from Outer Space.
- Review: The Last House on the Left (2009)
Critics and audiences reviled Wes Craven's 1972 original, but its raw power gave it an enduring, endearing legacy.
- The Big Hurt: Faces refaced
Faces refaced, Spears speared, Hook hacked
- From Jester to Esther
During the presidential campaign last fall, the Phoenix took note of a curious undercurrent in the annals of Sarah Palin fandom: the notion of Palin as a modern-day Queen Esther.
- Review: The End of the Line
Eating fish is great for you — but it's a different story for the poor fish.
- Various Artists | A Boston State Of Mind Volume 2
Every night, when I get home from reporting facts, I poison the Internet with innuendo on a Boston-based hip-hop blog called jumptheturnstyle.com.
- Steady business
"Poorly Drawn People has some new members, and a new way of doing biz."
- Stuff and nonsense
Despite millions in production design, Peter Strietman's splendid photography, and some witty if trance-inducing music by Jonathan Bepler, the six and a half hours of Matthew Barney's Cremaster Cycle is sheer movie tedium, inert and unmoving, broken up by imagery that's more irritating than fascinating in its self-indulgent preciosity.
- Review: Sunshine Cleaning
What lifts this tasty little dramedy above Sundance mediocrity is a pathos that overcomes all the "quirky" dysfunctional contrivance.
- Less
Topics:
This Just In
, Elections and Voting, Politics, U.S. Politics, More
, Elections and Voting, Politics, U.S. Politics, U.S. Presidential Election, Celebrity News, Entertainment, election, Beyonce Knowles, Eddie Van Halen, Sarah Palin, Less