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Boston Cinco De Mustache

Eric Byrnes sucks and so does his stupid mustache

Our hatred for Eric Byrnes began on a Saturday afternoon in 2003 when the Oakland A's were playing the Boston Red Sox in the third game of the American League Division Series. Byrnes, a blonde bad-tempered sore-losing prettyboy crybaby, rounded homeplate, shoving trunk-thighed Varitek out of the way. But lo! He didn't tag homeplate! Instead of punching his lights out, instead of stomping the odious little monster, Varitek retrieved the ball, and tagged Byrnes out. So controlled. So civil. The perfect revenge.

Anyway, Byrnes, now playing for the Arizona Diamondbacks, started growing a mustache because, as everyone knows, wispy upper lip hair makes you play better baseball. Quoth Byrnesy: "I knew if I could hit in 10 straight, just something to get me going at the beginning of the year, get a little visible mustache growing, that would be great."

 

Published Apr 24 2008, 11:08 AM by webteam
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We are Boston, and these are our mustaches. Join us May 5, 2008 -- that's Cinco de Mustache to you, chump -- at Jose Mac's in Faneuil Hall for Boston's first annual 'Stash Bash. Admission: one mustache. If you ain't wearing one, you ain't getting in. Fake mustaches will be available at the door for the ladies. It's first-come, first-serve, but you can wrangle a VIP spot by submitting your mustache photo to this page in one of two ways. Check the links below to upload your photos directly. Or if you've already got pictures of yourself on Flickr, submit them to our Boston Cinco de Mustache Group. You'll be in like Flynn.
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