13 Questions to Ask Governor Patrick at his Upcoming Town Hall Tour Stops

As your morning paper might have told you, this week Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick embarks on a statewide town hall meeting tour. Today’s event is in Dennis, and from there he’ll be taking questions in 14 other community forums from Boston and Arlington to Chicopee and Pittsfield.

If you plan on attending the summer town hall festivities - and you should - here are some recommended questions. Some are funny; others are pertinent; most are sharp and relevant; and they’re all better than the softballs that Patrick's aides will likely plant in the crowd. Please add your own questions in the comment box below…

1 - As someone who has a lot of wealthy friends with waterfront homes, is it difficult to tell stubborn Cape Wind adversaries to go fuck themselves?

2 - When does your administration believe it is appropriate to use the state reserve account, and, in cases when you do use it, how do you decide how much to pull out?

3 - Your web site has the highlight videos from last year’s town hall tour, but where can we see the bloopers?

4 - It was announced today that you are organizing a “peer” examination of MBTA safety practices. But where are you going to find enough text-messaging transgender T drivers to populate an entire review panel?  

5 - Right now it looks like youth violence prevention programs will be cut by at least $8 million at the state level. Even with money so tight - do you believe that is acceptable?

6 - Where’s Lieutenant Governor what’s-his-face?

7-Since you don’t talk about it enough, I always forget your background - did you grew up in the rich suburbs of Chicago and follow your father and grandfather to Milton Academy?

8 - Considering that some other states have sales tax rates higher than that proposed by the Massachusetts State Senate - and that sales tax can always be lowered in better times, as has happened in New York, for example - is the jump to 6.25 percent really that big of a deal?

9 - Will you be running a tough campaign in the next gubernatorial election, or do you think you can steam-roll over the competition just like last time? Also - how angry are you about being overlooked for the Supreme Court and what other federal positions will you be vying for?

10 - You recently said that you believe Massachusetts can achieve universal broadband access by 2011. With all the subsidies that have been dumped into various wireless programs, what the hell is taking so long? Is this a classic disastrous partnering of private funds and public interests?  

11 - Do you remember when the Herald called you “Cadillac Deval,” or the time during the first gambling debates when they Photoshopped you to look like a cheap poker dealer at a two-bit Reno casino? Wasn’t that hilarious?

12 - When you, Senate President Murray, and House Speaker DeLeo meet Irish President Mary McAleese in your chambers this week, how hard is it going to be for them to pretend like they don’t want to rip your arms off and beat you over the head with them?

13 - Do you need directions home to avoid toll roads, or are you perfectly fine with waiting in upwards of six hours of traffic?